The Bad Boys' Soft Boys' Lonely Hearts Club - The Full Package

The Checking Of Priviledges

We are bloodied, tired, dirty, smelling like a barnyard in the summer heat—and in the case of Brayden, cranky, because he missed his nappy time—but we are here, at last. One last push towards a peaceful life.

As we step out of the school doors, sun bearing down on my skin, I feel a tension in the air, one I've felt before. The end is near, once again. I only hope this will be the last one we wrap this up. My heart can't take the stress of being a YA protagonist anymore.

"Babe, what time is it?" I ask. Due to time dilation, who knows if we even missed the deadline? With our luck, we might as well be two weeks forwards in time.

"2:40. Shit, we got 20 minutes before the thing starts. Move your asses, now!" yells Hayden with the energy of a dad on a road trip that thinks that leaving after sunrise is a sin that can only be forgiven by yelling at his kids until they cry. The god of roadtrips demands tears.

"but i haven't slept, and i'm hungry, and i'm out of crackers, and-"

"I have food in the truck, and you can sleep while we ride there!" yells Hayden.

"...you don't have to be so mean about it," says Brayden, walking towards the parked truck just beyond the street.

"Uh, my friends. I, um,

Have an issue over here,

With my clothes and such."

Sure enough, one look at Okayden tells me the problem: He's mostly naked, save for his wide-brimmed hat and a pair of ripped pants that left nothing to the imagination, but kinda look grungy at the same time. I dig them. He had destroyed his trencoat, scarf and other clothes when he transformed back at the forest. Lucky for the most impressionable of our audience, besides his fleshy ten-pack, every inch of his body is covered in black fur. Not enough to shelter him from the sunlight currently cooking him into a nice medium-well, but enough to satiate the furries amongst the readers.

"Shit. I have a spare change of gym clothes in my Dick Mobile. Hop on it and I'll make sure to cover you good," says Hayden.

Okayden, still sizzling, ponders the option for a second while Hayden is tapping his foot.

"Is it the old one?

Or the new one with the shorts,

'Cause I don't wear shorts."

By the look of Hayden's face, it's the new one with the shorts. He facepalms hard enough that I can see the skin on his face ripple from the impact. "Again with this shit? Just wear the damn shirt then, no shorts, brother! Grow the fuck up. We don't have time for this."

Okayden shakes his head before turning around towards the school.

"I have standards, okay?

I'll go look through lost and found,

And pick a jacket."

"God dammit, Okayden! We don't have time to fucking wait for you to have a personal fashion show. Get your tail into my Dick Mobile, now!"

Dear reader, I've never seen Hayden so mad before. His head looks swollen and red, about to burst. His hands shake with courage as he makes that hand gesture all dads do when they want to reset their kid's operative system with a well-rounded punch to the back of the head, but they can't, like they're trying to grip an imaginary set of floating tiddies. I'm genuinely kinda scared right now.

"Hey, babe, look at me," I tell him, grabbing him by his arms. "Relax. Everything is gonna be okay. Go start the truck. I'll deal with this, okay?"

Now, I don't know if it is the fear in my eyes, or the very stereotypical way that I use to calm him down, but his bloodshot eyes soften a little. He takes a very deep breath before power-walking away from me, stomping all the way.