The Bad Boys' Soft Boys' Lonely Hearts Club - The Full Package

The Objection

The plan: Get into the wedding venue and stop this farce.

The twist: The wedding is outside, meaning that there could be easy access from all fronts.

The twist of the twist: Since the wedding is outside, the place is crawling with security.

The obstacle: Jin and Juan blocking the only proper entrance to the wedding.

"So, what's the plan?" I ask, peering down the staircase leading towards the dining room, the only way out to the garden. This place is tighter than a tick's bunghole. There is an incredible balloon arch right at the entrance, at least 500 balloons strong, minimum.

Goro, Brayden's dad, is sitting by the bay window while rubbing his ankle monitor and "quietly" whispering "YEAH, BREATHE THAT DELICIOUS AIR. SNIFF THOSE POLLEN PARTICLES FOR DADDY. I'LL...EH, GO TO THE BATHROOM FOR A SECOND. BRB."

It is of note that there is no floor beneath him but a mat of astroturf.

"Plan?" asks Hayden. "I just thought we could, you know, walk in and stop this farce."

"And what about Dumb and Dumber over there?" I ask. "One false move and we will have the entire Kimchi-Cannoli family on our asses, and they're not there to munch them. Is Brayden awake yet?"

Okayden, peering beneath us, only grumbles. He has Brayden on his back like the world's sexiest Koala, and hopefully with less chlamydia.

"Well, I'm gonna be honest, brother," says Hayden, "I'm drawing a blank here."

"Then grab some crayons and start drawing some happy little trees, 'cuz this is your plan, after all."

Hayden pulls us back to the never-ending hallway of weird shit and scratches the back of his head. "Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm not a fan of your attitude right now."

"And I'm not a fan of your face!" I say, entirely too loud for anyone's liking.

Brayden's in particular, as he begins to stir up. "oh, drama. trouble in paradise?"

"You go back to sleep!" I say.

"okay."

"No, not okay!" yells Hayden. "We need him for this plan to work!"

"What plan?" I ask. "We are here because of your super duper plan in the first place."

"Yes, brother. A plan I made to repair your fuck up!"

"he also said your whipped cream lacks sugar," adds Brayden with a sneer.

"No, I didn't! Make like a soccer mom mankind meal preps for the week and zip it!"

"Enough!"

That yell came from Okayden, who had been quiet this entire time. I don't think I've ever heard him raise his voice. He stands up, making Brayden fall to the ground. Once the shock wears off, he comes in with the big guns.

"Every one of us,

Makes mistakes and fucks it up,

But we forgive them."

Since Okayde talks in Haikus, I'll make a pause here for aesthetic purposes.

"We are all friends here,

We love each other, we are fam,

Forgive and forget."

Dammit. To be lectured by Okayden of all people. I'm holding too much right now. I know Hayden means well, and I love him. I don't want to hurt him. And yet, I've done so over and over again. I take a deep breath and settle my inner turmoil. "You're right, I'm sorry. I've been a huge dick for no reason. I know that your plan came from a place of love, and I'm giving you attitude for it."