𝚃𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗

016: Toxic

DeAndre Mallow

"Ok mom I'll do it I had to do some homework" I said trying to stay calm. She just kept yelling and shit.

"This my house I shouldn't have to say shit more than once. Fuck that whole homework. You ain't gon be shit anyways so what's the point of you trying? You gon be just like yo fucking daddy. In jail for life" She yelled out. It was the same thing.

"I forget to take out the trash. Why you trippen?" I said trying not to raise my voice.

"Fuck that. Watch yo mouth before you end up living on the streets. Get the fuck out my face bitch" She yelled at me. I didn't wanna already start more shit so I just went to my room and locked my door.

"Why she gotta act like a bitch?" I said to myself.

Every since dad went to jail she became so fucking horrible. Dad abused her so bad in front of me. When he went to jail for drug shit she started taking her anger out on me. Calling me names and hitting me. Lots of shit I did to myself is because of her and what she does. I love her and I don't wanna give up on her and I ain't going to no police for shit but I don't know what I did to get treated like this. I hate what I do to Marie I'm starting to be like my mom and dad. I fucking love Marie and I don't want her to leave me. I can't let her leave me she is the only thing that keeps me sane. I love that girl with every bone in my body. Her dealing with me is so confusing but I know why. I wanna fix what I do.

I heard my mom leave and speed off. She will be back in a week. She always does this when she gets mad at me. Glady it didn't go far. I called Marie and wanted her to come over. I need her here with me not just cause I want her too. She came here about 5 minutes later and we went back to my room.

"Hey what's wrong?" She asked sitting on the bed.

"I just wanted to see you. Me and moms got into it again" I said as I was laying on her thighs.

"She got mad cause I was doing work and I didn't take out the trash when she asked. She calling me bitches and shit saying fuck me. It was making me mad but I didn't want her trying to fight me so I just went to my room" I vented.

"Don't say anything I just wanted to say that baby" I said before she could say anything and she nodded.

I got up and went in the shower while she watched a movie. After 15 minutes I got out then lotioned up. I wrapped my below in a towel then came out. She was looking out the window at the stars and the beautiful full moon. I wrapped my arms around her making her flench a little.

"You good?" I asked.

"Yea you just scared me" She said.

"Listen I gotta talk to you" I said and she turned to me.

"Sure ok what's wrong?" She asked.

"It's just the shit that's been happening between us and what I've been putting you through this whole month. I've been thinking about everything and how I think you've been feeling about it. I wanna fix what has been going on. My dad abused my mom and she took her anger out on me then I took my anger out on you. I don't wanna be like them I wanna be better. I can't lose you Marie. I love you too much to lose you and what I've been doing I'm hating myself for hurting you. And the fact that your still here with me just makes me feel even more fucked up. You've helped me through a lot. You, Meia, Dayvon and Mande have always been there for me. I won't ever put my hands on you again. I'm so fucking sorry I don't know how many times I have to say it for you to understand but I am sorry and I can't lose you. I need you baby. Please forgive for what's been happening" I said to her.

"DeAndre I forgive you. I know your going through a lot and you need help. I understand baby. I love you and I won't leave you ever. It's me and you forever" She said. I was so relieved she forgave me but I know she won't next time so I hope I don't fuck up.