Drowning In Your Love

Two Sides Of Hell

It's been a week since they had started living at the vacation house. Mew had started handling his work online which did prove to be a bit problematic but he had been coordinating with his employees and making it work. Wat hadn't started working again on his book, his mind has been all over the place making it hard to focus on his novel. Meanwhile Tine and Gulf had nothing to do. All they had to do was wake up in the morning, eat their meals, then sleep again at night. After working like dogs for so long it felt weird having nothing to do. It made them restless and anxious which culminated into aggression and frustation.

Gulf and Tine dealt with their trauma in entirely different ways. Where Tine maintained his distance from Wat and everyone else in fear of getting hurt again, Gulf did exactly the opposite. He trusted Mew completely to keep him safe. Tine had withdrawn in his shell to keep the world out of his reach, trust and safety are things he had no business mingling with. He didn't trust Wat or Mew or anyone else for that matter. In the back of his mind there was always this thought that sooner or later they'll abandon him too or hurt him worse than Brett had or at least as much as he had. No matter how many times Wat tried to show him that he cared, Tine refused to believe him.

Other than trust, his main issue was low self-esteem. Brett practically broke his confidence and esteem in worst way possible and Tine had no intention of building them again. As long as they were broken, they wouldn't hurt that bad. But having it broken again would be worse. Tine believed in surviving more than living. Life wasn't something to enjoy, it was something you endured because there was no other option. Often it irritated him that Wat tried so hard to care. He didn't need love or care, maybe at some point he would have yearned for it but not anymore. He just wanted everyone to leave him alone.

Gulf was happy, it was surprising even to him how easily he had fallen for Mew. Love was the only word he could use to describe how he felt for Mew. Just looking at the man filled him with a sense of relief and safety. As long as he had Mew in his sight, he would be completely at ease. But the moment Mew would go somewhere, Gulf felt like he couldn't breathe anymore, it was suffocating and painful in a way that only death could be. Gulf was a hopeful kind of guy and even though he had been through hell with Paul, he still hoped someone would save him and someone did. From that moment onwards, Gulf considered Mew as someone above everyone else, superior and strong.

You would think Gulf is coping so well but if you looked from his perspective, you would realize maybe Gulf is more broken than Tine. He hadn't started trusting Mew in a way you would consider healthy, he had just replaced Paul with Mew in his mind. To him, Mew was his master, someone he has to obey no matter what. It didn't help that Mew had a dominating aura though he never ordered Gulf to do anything unless it was for his own benefit. Gulf subconsciously submitted to Mew and expected him to care and pamper him.

Mew got swamped with the office work and couldn't give time to Gulf which resulted in him throwing a massive tantrum. He wouldn't eat unless Mew would feed him, he wouldn't take medicines for his wounds unless Mew would give it to him, he wouldn't sleep unless Mew was beside him. He wouldn't let Mew go anywhere without him, he would follow him around like a lost puppy. Mew at times indulged him but he didn't realize what was infatuation to Mew, was obsession to Gulf. Had he known that maybe they could have avoided the tragedy that followed.

Wat was coaxing Tine to take the clothes he had got for him but the boy refused vehemently.

"Tine, why won't you take them?"

Tine sat down on the bed, "Because I don't want to."

"That's what I want to know. Why?"

"Because it's not mine."

"So? You can't keep wearing just two set of clothes everyday."

"It's enough for me."

"But you don't have to. I can give yo-"

Tine hissed, "I don't want anything from you."

"Not again. How many times did we have this same conversation? Aren't you tired of arguing with me all the time?"

"If you're tired then you can send me back."

"Do you think I would do that? Do you actually think that? No matter how much you fight with me I'll never send you back to that hell. Remember that." Wat said firmly.

"Whatever."

"Now before I lose my patience take these clothes."

"You can lose your patience for all i care."

"You wouldn't like it."

Tine rolled his eyes, "What would you do? Hit me? Beat me up? Humiliate me? Whip me? Torture me? Cut me? Starve me? Rape me? Pass me around to your friends-"

He was cut off in the middle because Wat had engulfed him in his arms, hugging him tightly. Tine struggled at first but soon went limp in Wat's arms. When was the last time he had been hugged like this? When was the last time he had felt such warmth?

"Tighter." Tine whispered. "Hug me tighter."

Wat squeezed him into his chest, "I'll hug you tightly enough to stick all the broken pieces back together."

They stayed like that until Wat realized Tine had fallen asleep. It made him smile, Tine had started trusting him. He never falls asleep with anyone around him. Wat gently laid him down on the bed and wrapped him in the blanket. As soon as he tried to stand, Tine clutched his hand. Wat laid down beside him, keeping a bit of distance because he knew Tine would be angry when he woke up but he couldn't leave him when he was clutching him like that and pouting in his sleep. He had never thought he would see the day when Tine would be pouting.

This all drove the fact home that Tine was just a kid who should have been living a carefree like others. Instead he had gone through hell with no one by his side. No matter how long it took he'll make Tine live the life he deserved.