Away We Go • 2 • Formula One

Chapter 82

I wanted my mum. It had been over a year since I had last heard her voice and I was craving it more than ever. I took her for granted, I know that now, just like I took all my friendships for granted. Even though I had never intended for the thoughts and feelings I had experienced at my lowest to get back to the people they concerned, they ultimately did. If it were the other way around, I'd be pissed, too. I just have to pray they can find it in their hearts to forgive me eventually despite the pain I've caused.

Despite being only midday on a Saturday, I was exhausted. The first thing I did when I got back from my intense morning workout with Lizzie, who has been unsurprisingly quieter with me, was flop down on the sofa. It was the only piece of sitting furniture not covered with moving boxes. The date for the move in to the new house was between the Singapore and Malaysian Grand Prix weekends. People were coming to move the belongings for Max and I this upcoming weekend to save us time doing it ourselves. Victoria and Sof were supposed to come over an help, too, but I imagine things might've changed now.

Lemon wasted no time in jumping up onto my lap, Murray hot on her heels. They are my comfort when I'm alone. There was only so much time Bella could spend with me before her father came at her for neglecting her work commitments. They were working extremely hard, pumping out positive articles about me as often as they could in an attempt to help, from highlighting charity work I had done, to covering my sponsorships so that they didn't back out.

Just as I found myself settling, Murray's ears perked up and his head snapped in the direction of the front door. Initially, I thought nothing if it, however the light knock and chime of the doorbell that shortly followed made me groan. I didn't want to get up. With great reluctance, I gently placed Lemon beside me and pulled myself up from the comforting crease of the sofa. 

My bare feet padded lightly across the floor to the front door, Murray close by. The moment the front door opened, he slipped through my legs and greeted the person at the door warmly. "Damien."

His shoulders were square and his jaw tight. "Hi, Alyssa."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?" the harshness of his tone sliced through me.

"I-what? Of course I am," I replied, swallowing hard. I wrapped my arms a little tighter around my body, feeling the confrontation brewing. "You were never meant to hear any of that until I had worked through it."

"I really don't want to hear it. M is waiting for me in the car so I'm going to make this quick." I kept my lips in a line, chewing the inside of my lip nervously. Damien was never one to be serious. "Look, Alyssa," there he goes calling me 'Alyssa' again instead of 'Lys', "I know what you said was never supposed to make it's way to me. Why would it be in the article if it was? The thing is, all of the problems were things you very easily could've brought up with me, but you didn't. You chose to vent those negative feelings to some random instead. I thought we were friends."

"We are-"

Damien lifted his hand up to cut me off. "I'm not finished. No, we're not friends, because friends at the very least would have the decency to reach out an apologise after something like this. Where the fuck is my apology, Alyssa? You call me lazy and think I'm such a shitty person but you're all those things, too."

"That's harsh, D," I said as I blinked back tears. "I sent you a text, but you never replied-"

"Wow, a text!" he sarcastically cheered. "That magically solves everything, doesn't it?"

My sadness was starting to turn into anger without my intention. Every single one of his words were pushing a button in my brain, sending me closer to a malfunction in judgment. "I thought you would want space. I wasn't going to force you into a conversation you weren't ready to have yet."