Chaos (Colby Brock)

129

"Come on." I said then led the way out of the room and towards the infirmary.

"Juya!" Juniper squealed as I walked into the room. "Yeah, that's your big sister." I said, feeling a heaviness in my heart.

"Why is she so pale?" Carter asked as they all filed into the room. "Because she's dying." Jenna said, keeping her eyes on Julia.

I knew Jenna was the most mature and she seemed to be smart, but seeing her like this broke my heart.

She knew this was the last time she would see her big sister.

"Why won't she wake up?" Little Sam said as I frowned. "She's brave and she's a hero. That's why." I said as Juniper reached towards Julia.

"She's sleeping. She can't hold you." I said to the baby. It broke my heart that these kids were having to say goodbye in such a weird way at such a young age.

It felt like shit to witness it.

I sat with the kids for a while, letting them just talk to Julia. They talked about school and their mom and other random things.

I hoped that Julia could hear them so it would motivate her to wake up.

"Are you guys hungry?" I asked as we walked down the hallway.

"No." They all mumbled causing me to nod. "Okay, when we get back home we can get you whatever you want." I said then opened the door to my office.

"Alex is gonna sit in here with you guys while I do something. Then we'll go home." I said and handed Juniper off to Carter.

"Okay." They all mumbled and sat down. I nodded and looked at them then turned and walked out of the room.

Now that they said goodbye it was going to be the hardest moment of my life.

"Ready for this?" Sam asked as I shook my head. "No. Let's do it though." I said, feeling bile rising in my throat.

"The girls are in there now, then I'm gonna go in then it's your turn." Sam explained as I shook my head.

"I don't want to do this." I said quietly. "I know, it's the right thing to do though." Sam said and gave me a hug.

When the girls were done saying goodbye, Sam went into the room.

"I'm so sorry, Colby." Kat said as she hugged me. "Don't feel bad for me, feel bad for Julia." I mumbled and looked down.

When Sam came out of the room, he looked up at me. "Your turn." He said as I nodded slowly and went to go into the room.

"Hi, baby." I whispered and walked into the room, taking Julia's hand. "It's so hard to let you go." I said, feeling my heart shatter.

"I can't do this without you, Jules. You made me a better person. Since the day I met you, I knew that you were special." I said as my eyes stung with tears.

"I love you so much, sweetheart. I'll never forget you for the rest of my life." I said then kissed her forehead. "I love you, Juliana White." I said and brushed her hair back.

Seeing her look so lifeless was breaking me to the core. It felt the tears coming before I could stop them.

It had been forever since I had actually cried. While this was going on I would tear up, but this was different.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I was choking on the sobs that were wrecking my chest.

I tried to pull myself together but I couldn't no matter how hard I tried.

"It's okay..." Sam said and hugged me. "I love her, Sam." I choked out. "I know. I know you do." He said as Nate came into the room.

"I know you don't want to do this, but it's time." Nate said as I nodded.

"Just do it." I said and wiped my cheeks. "How does this work?" Sam asked as I took Julia's hand again.

"I turn the ventilator off, then we wait. Since it's breathing for her..it shouldn't take long." Nate said as I nodded.

"You're gonna be okay, Jules." I whispered, caressing her hand gently.

I watched as Nate turned the machine off. It felt like the hysteria was going to flood into my whole body.

"Now we wait." Nate said as I kept my eyes on Julia.

I could hear her heart rate dropping on the machine but I tried to just focus on Julia.

I tried to remember the moment I first saw her. I was buying a first aid kit since I had been stabbed.

She looked more confused than scared which was shocking because there was a lot of blood.

I remembered when I first fell in love with her though. It was at the party we had. She was dancing with a random guy.

I felt so much jealousy but pushed it down because I knew falling for her would be dangerous.

I should have listened to that part of my brain.

"I love you." I whispered as Nate started pulling out her IV's and the tube in her throat.

Her heart monitor was slowing down, meaning her heart was getting tired.

I wanted Nate to turn the machine on again, but I knew that couldn't happen.

Once the tube was out of her mouth, I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers.

I knew I would never get to kiss her again.

We sat there for only a couple more minutes before her heart monitor went flat.

I felt my heart shatter as tears flooded my eyes again.

She was really gone.

"I'll never forget you, Julia. I love you so fucking much." I cried out, leaning down and pulling her into my arms.

I held her and cried, feeling my own heart breaking.

"I'm so sorry." Nate said quietly as I sobbed. I don't think the guys knew what to do or how to react.

I don't know how much time passed as I held her. It could have been hours or only minutes.

It didn't matter though, because after some time the constant beep that was the flatline of Julia's heart turned into steady beats once again.