My Little Secret

Monsters

A/N-
Not sure if anyone is still reading this but I will continue to upload chapters when I can. I always said I will finish this book no matter how long it takes ☺️
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Enjoy!
Xx

I truly hoped that everything would be a blur when I woke in my bed the following morning, but unfortunately, my mind was plagued by the events of the previous day. The cotton pillow was sodden straight through, and cold against my swollen cheek, a result of my uncontrollable sobbing throughout the night. Regrettably I could remember everything like clockwork. From swallowing the sedatives and slipping beneath the water flow, to finishing up with an IV protruding from my arm. Hunter remained by my side incessantly, a broken mess of tears and soggy tissues. That was the hardest part, being responsible for his torment. Every tear he shed tore apart my insides, like a bullet gouging a great hole through me. And that's when it sunk in, and I realised how much pain my actions had caused. When your mind is in such a terrible frenzy, it's a consideration you completely ignore.

But that's what happens when people are desperate to escape reality. When they're so blinkered by the fear of what's to come that they can't bear to face another day.

The minute I received the text at Jacobs house, was the minute I decided I would rather die than go through the pain and torture I experienced in that monsters clutches. Looking back now, It was a rash decision, but no one could advise me otherwise. The need to get out, the feeling of suffocation was drowning me, so completely overwhelming. I not only had to remove myself from Jacob's house, but I had to remove myself from existence too.

Of course, now I understand that it was the most selfish of options. Sure, it ends my suffering for good, but simply transfers it to those that you leave behind. I could not put Hunter through that again. Ever. But no matter how much I tried to convince him that I wouldn't replay my actions, he just didn't believe me.

And who could blame him really?

When I awoke from my deep sleep, Hunter was there, and followed me around the house like a puppy dog ever since. He was waiting patiently for me to talk to him, to explain what happened last night. But I couldn't bring myself to discuss it with him. Every time I caught a glimpse of his face, a staggering guilt swamped me. To stop myself from bawling my eyes out all over again I had to avert my eyes. The absolute last thing I wanted to do was relive the events in my head, to remember things that I had wanted to leave far behind in my past.

So I did the only thing I knew how to in a situation like this. Escape.

It wasn't easy to slip past the keen eye of my brother. But somehow, I managed. Whilst he was busying himself making a cup of coffee I grabbed the car keys from the usual hook which they hung, and dashed from the house to the car.

The car groaned as I revved the engine, and took off down the road at speed, disappearing way before Hunter could even reach the front door.  Of course, as a result my phone rang repeatedly, pleading for me to answer it the whole journey to town. With a heavy sigh, I pull up into the familiar car park outside my place of work. My fingers race to type a short message, which I send to my brother at the click of a button.

Please don't worry. I'm just at work. Xx

Almost instantaneously, another text flashes up.

Dammit Kitty! You and me will be having serious words when you get home.. X

Reading his reply makes me shudder, at the mere thought of him putting the threat into action.

Once I'm inside I begin my shift sanitising the bar area, before moving swiftly on to clearing tables. Keeping my mind busy and active is the best way forward.