My hope in love <3

16

I could feel that it was going to happen. She was always going to come crawling back and realize that she was in the wrong and not me. I've got to admit though, I have been missing her a lot. One part of my brain is saying forgive her and the other part is saying look what you have become without her. Yeah. A drug addict. Her messages claim that she is truly sorry but I'm not sure what to believe anymore.

She finds me at school before the bell rings.

"What are you doing in the library?" I feel like clapping at her comment. Great way to start a conversation that is supposed to mend our friendship.

"Well I like to read" I shoot back. I feel like she knows nothing about me. I search book spines to see if any look tempting, waiting for her to apologize. I already had my turn at the restaurant and it did not go well.

"Look" she starts. Are we negotiating or apologizing I think. If it didn't know her well then i would definitely assume the first one.

"I have alot to say to you", she continues. "And I don't think this is the right place to do it." I nod. Personally I love libraries. They are relaxing, entertaining and always warm. Especially in winter. I find a book and Casey follows me to the counter.

"Hi Tilly, are we borrowing?"

"Yes, I'll return the others tomorrow afternoon." She scans the barcode on the back of my book and then hands it to me.

"Thankyou", I say. She is such a lovely person.

"No problem sweetie."

" I see you are on a first name basis with the librarian", Casey says as we walk through the sliding doors.

"Why are you being so judgmental?"

"I'ts okay Tilly, I remember what is special about this week." I groan.

"Really?" I say sarcastically. "So do I."

"That's why i said it, so you don't have to get angry at me."

"Thankyou. I don't have to get angry at you now. You are just so good to me." Sarcasm is seriously my best friend. She looks at me wide eyed.

"I was just trying to ..."

"What? Break the tension? Casey, I am going to get angry at you. You left me. I didn't do anything."

"Exactly! YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING. You just sat there like a lizard, looking at your non- existent thigh gap for weeks. You didn't even try to tell me what was going on. That he was cheating." My mouth is now open, ready to pounce and grab my prey, but I resist and I am proud for doing that.

"Tell me what happened in the restaurant then",I say calmly instead.

"Well it was my special week." Oh my god. Why is she calling it her 'special week' ?

"Freaking periods are not an excuse Casey. Now did you come to apologize or to ruffle my feathers?" She looks down at her shoes. Maybe I was too harsh, maybe she feels bad about the restaurant.

"I am really sorry Tilly. I was defending him. I loved him and I thought he loved me too." I can see where she is coming from. I love Tobi and I would do anything for him.

"Casey I know that this is hard for you. I tried to tell you. In the restaurant. At school. I put that picture in your locker, because i knew that you wouldn't talk to me in person." I give her my most sympathetic look.

"I'm not sure if I should thank you or go crazy like a possessed woman." She smiles and I smile back. She looks like she is about to hug me, so I stop her with my words.

"I think we still have a lot to talk about before everything goes back to normal."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm always rushing into things."

"Yeah I know." She then gives me a look.

"Oh, that rushing. I'm sorry that you did that and then it ended."

"At least I knew sooner than later."

We each go our separate ways to our classes. I hope this works out. And I hope she has a better explanation for all the negative things she said.