in my dreams - han seojun

13

13.
«what more can i do to express how i feel»
— signal [twice]

✎

"Suho what are you ta-"

"I'm not an idiot like Seojun."

Suho wouldn't keep his eyes off of me. He looked at me up and down before taking a deep breath, "I hope you understand what I'm saying."

His new attitude completely startled me. Suho usually came across as a distant guy but for him to be this ticked off over Seojun's treatment of me was a complete surprise.

"I do," I muttered. My head turned away from him and I placed strands of hair behind my ear, "I have to go now."

Suho nodded. He spun around to unlock the front door and moved to the side, making way for me to exit. He appeared to be tense as his eyes shifted to the ground, ignoring me right when I walked past him.

I couldn't think straight for the entire night. My head was full of Suho's words. I began to wonder how Seojun would react to all of this. Would he be upset? Or would he just not care?

The next day I was still stuck with thoughts of Suho. His words made me feel some type of way, but not the way Seojun makes me feel. I just felt confused but not confused on my emotions towards Suho but confused on how I see myself.

Am I really too good to be with a guy like Han Seojun?

"My beautiful Yeeun," a voice called out for me lovingly. I huffed loudly before twirling around only for me to come face to face with Han Seojun.

He still had that same guilty expression on his face.

"I'm sorry for what I did yesterday," he said under his breath, "I promise to never put you in situations like that again," his voice sounded genuinely regretful.

"This is the last time I'm ever going to forgive you," I informed him as I waved a finger in his face. A tiny giggle escaped my lips when Seojun playfully moved my hand out the way, "hey!" he softly shouted, "I'll cut that finger off."

I was too busy laughing that I didn't notice that he rested his hands on my desk, trapping my body in between his arms. In the corner of my eyes, I noticed a familiar face walk in. Seojun began to turn to his head to look at you know who but I grabbed his cheeks and forcefully moved his attention back to me.

"What?" He asked me.

My mouth dropped awkwardly, stuttering for a few seconds, "uh," cupping his cheeks even harder, "how are you today?"

Seojun laughed, "I'm good," he peeked over my shoulder before leaning in closer to me, "so how was your study date with Suho?"

I rolled my eyes and released him from my grip, "it wasn't a date," crossing my arms as I had mini flashbacks of what Suho told me last night, I spaced out for a moment as Seojun waited for me to continue what I was saying, "we studied. That's all," I told him.

Seojun didn't seem convinced, he leaned in even closer, our noses nearly touching, "I feel like something more happened because he won't stop staring at you."

My eyes widened, "nothing else happened," I muttered to him. He shook his head and laughed, still not satisfied with my answers. A smile began to form on my face, "aw," my hands pinching his cheeks, "is someone jealous?" I teased him.

Seojun took a hold of my hands, moving them away from his face, "why would I be jealous?" he said as if I just offended him, "you can hang out with whoever you want," he told me.

Something inside me snapped and my body became relaxed, a cheeky feeling overtaking me. I shifted myself closer to him, crossing my feet as I stood and clasped my hands behind my back, giving him a tiny smile in a coy, kittenish way.

"How long is this going to continue?" I asked him, "it's been two months."

Seojun smirked, "until Jukyung falls for me," he said it rather confidently but everybody knows she doesn't feel the same way back. I'm not saying this because I'm jealous or whatever, but she treats him the same way she treats Soojin and Soo Ah.

A friend. Just like me.

"And how is that working out for you?" I teased him, "has she fallen for you yet?" I poked fun at his delusions and snorted in his face.

Seojun's eye widened in displeasure, "you little shit," he said through his teeth, "you think me chasing after the girl of my dreams is funny?"

My mood changed immediately once he said that. A feeling of uncomfortableness overtook me and I backed up from him as I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. My mind slowly remembered this joke started for a different reason. Not to make Jukyung fall for Seojun, it definitely wasn't that.

"Didn't you want to fake this whole relationship just to joke around with the rumors?" I said in a nearly silent voice, my eyes were focused on his and all the foolishness left my body, "you never said anything about Jukyung."

Seojun bit his cheek and clenched his fists, looking uneasy, "well now I have a different reason," he said lowly.

My voice raised itself, "you also said I wouldn't be a nobody anymore and to help you with work you were struggling with," my jaw clenched.

He leaned on my desk, nodding his head in an unserious manner, "and this bothers you, why?"

I glared at him, "I just think it's pathetic to use one girl as an easy way to date another girl," I spoke abruptly.

Seojun stood up straight, looking down at me with an unbelievable expression on his face. He chuckled sarcastically then released a deep breath, "why are you always picking a fight with me?"

"I'm not," I answered right away, "I'm just saying the truth."

He walked closer to me, closing the tiny gap between us, "Yeeun I would never use you," he swore to me, "you're my friend."

I couldn't help but smile at how close our bodies were to touching each other. My head turned to the side to hide the huge grin slowly appearing on my face, Seojun noticed and laughed, "stop getting angry at me, okay?"

I ignored his request and sat down on my chair. Before he could annoy me any longer, we were all ordered to sit in our seats by Ms. Lee. All of my classes went by quickly and pretty soon it was time to be dismissed.

I was left alone since Seojun and his friends already made plans. As I was making my way to the entrance doors, a tall body stepped in front of me. My eyes looked up and there was Suho with his usual blank face.

He stretched his hand out to me, a carton of strawberry milk placed on his palm. I glanced at him with a bit of surprise, giving a small smile as I grabbed hold of the beverage.

"I always see you drinking strawberry milk," Suho said softly, "so I bought you one," he smiled sweetly.

"Thank you," I nodded slowly. We both stood in silence, I tried fighting the awkwardness by reading the ingredients of the carton and Suho kept looking around.

"So," I finally said, "I should get going," my feet began wandering to push open the door but I was stopped by Suho once again.

"Is it okay if I walk you home?" he asked me.

I turned around and froze. He stood poised with his hands in his pockets and didn't move a muscle until I answered his request. I reluctantly bopped my head towards the entrance door, he beamed with pleasure when he realized what my answer was.

"Let's go."