piccolo tesoro

Wish I knew

Arabella:

I was woken up by light shining into my eye.

Not lovely.

I felt the unfamiliar yet semi familiarity of silk covers, I slowly opened my eyes wider now seeing my bedroom.

My bedroom at Vincenzo's.

I cant remember the last time I slept here. For the past, well long time, it has been me and Vincenzo sleeping together every night in his bed. Sleeping together, shoot. I sit up farther looking at the clock, 10:30 am.

Dang it.

I was so ready last night, last night was going to be the night. I cant believe I messed it up by falling asleep. I had such a good plan too, but of course I fell asleep at Vincenzo's club.

So not sexy.. I don't even remember anything after seeing his home screen and maybe playing a game on his phone, that's all I remember.

I felt my mind race on what happened for the rest of the night. Did he bring me my lemonade and bring me straight home when he saw me asleep? Or did he let me sleep in the office until he finished? I hope it was the second one, I would hate to ruin his whole check in with the club. Especially after I ruined his meeting a few hours before.

My thoughts are interrupted at a knock on my door, strange. Vincenzo rarely knocks he just comes in speaking Italian to get my attention right away. But I yelled, "Come in?" anyway waiting patiently for who ever it was.

I felt spoiled for my thoughts, maid, cook, or my boyfriend? The door handle jiggles lightly before a silly looking Mario enters. I look at him furrowing my brows and tilting my head to the side, "Mario? What are you doing here?"

He stood close to the door tapping his foot lightly, "Vincenzo is going to be gone all day today and late tonight. He didn't want to wake you, he just wanted me to let you know. I'll be down stairs if you need anything." He smiles softly before shutting the door behind him.

I shake my head confused, why didn't he wake me? He knows I have dependency issues and he left without telling me, and now I have a whole day by myself, and I don't even know half the rooms- breathe Arabella. What would Vincenzo do to help you if he was here.

I take a deep breath collecting my thoughts, he would rub my thigh while speaking soft words to me. He would tell me it's okay, he would tell me to breathe, he would tell me it's alright. And he would be right, he always is right.

I take my deep breaths as I rub my thigh lightly pretending it's his hand, I think of his words calming myself at the thought of him.

I slowly get myself off the bed to finally realize i'm no longer in my dress, i'm so oblivious to everything around me. I look down at Vincenzo's shirt and boxers that are now hugging my body.

I pull the shirt up smelling Vincenzo's warm scent, not creepy.. Maybe a bit but, he's my boyfriend. I get a pass. I roll my eyes at my self before walking to the bathroom. I look in the mirror brushing the hair out of my face, "Okay Arabella, Let's make a day plan." I know it's sad that i'm talking to my reflection, but sometimes that's where anxiety leads people. "I'm going to shower, and then I will explore the house. Hmm, what else. Oh, I will look for baking stuff, maybe see if Mario wants to bake with me. Okay." I smiled at myself in the mirror satisfied with my plan for the day.

Time for step one, shower. I turn on the shower before I turn it back off, this doesn't feel right. I pick up all of my shower stuff and find myself walking across the hall to Vincenzo's room. I set everything down before checking my phone for the first time this morning.

Nothing from Vincenzo, a few from Ameira asking to hang soon, saying sorry for yesterday. I texted her back reminding her it's not her fault and that I want to see her soon.

It's weird how we've distanced, one moment you're spending every second with someone and then you're just texting every so often. She always told me she would never leave me for a boyfriend or girlfriend, but here I am doing that to her.

I suck, i'm such a bad friend.

I shake my head clenching my jaw while I turn on the shower. I strip my clothes trying to ignore the fact that I was, stripping my clothes. I got everything off before getting into the warm shower.

Shower thoughts dance in my head as I rub the shampoo into my hair. I wonder what Vincenzo is doing the whole day, what is taking up that much time, and why wouldn't he tell me? I know i'm overthinking but as the suds of soap falls down my forehead I feel myself feeling lonely again.

I know it's my dpd acting up and getting in my head but I still listen to it. He left and he didn't even tell me himself, and he didn't even text.

I massage the shampoo into my hair feeling the memory of Vincenzo doing the same.

Relax Arabella, think of how much Vincenzo cares about you. It's okay. Right? I shake my head at myself disagreeing at the fact anyone could ever want me.

My father didn't want me, my friends didn't always want me, why would Vincenzo? Was I holding him to a standard he didn't want to be held to?

He wasn't entitled to text me, it wasn't his job. We just starting 'dating' and I already am being crazy.

Ameira made it all seem so easy, I should've known I wasn't cut out for this. Is he sick of me already?

A/N:
Update!! I'm so sorry it had taken be forever, I'm back at school and I have been very Busy! Hopefully updating again soon. love you all
-K <3333