A Thousand Times Enough

⋆ Chapter 23 ⋆

XXIII. • °

𝐓𝐖-𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬.

My eyes shot open, I was laying on my back still laying on the bathroom floor staring up at the ceiling. My body hurt and it ached, my vision still was going in and out and I realized that I must have passed out.

My eyes were dried up with crust lingering around them so they hurt to blink even slightly. The broken light gleaming down above me radiated on my arms, so much that I felt the warmness. I must've been here for a while.

I lifted my right arm slowly off my chest and saw nothing but scratches with slight blood peeking through. I dropped my arms to the ground and slowly tried to sit up but I winced in pain and immediately dropped back down.

My head was throbbing, I couldn't think straight I didn't know what to do. I couldn't even grasp what had just happened to me. All I knew at this moment was that I had to get up, I had to try and get out of here.

I placed my bare hands up against the chilled ground once again wincing in pain. I pushed up against the ground as much as I could forcing myself up off the ground. I was weak, still feeling as though I could pass out at any second.

I grabbed onto the door and attempted to hold myself up using the doorknob. I stood there for a moment trying to get some kind of strength, trying to avoid falling back down. I managed to get over to the countertop barely, as my hands ran across it, I felt sickened.

Mark let him...Mark let him do this and he just walked away like it was nothing. I hated him, I fucking hated him.

Then my dad, he was nowhere to be found, nowhere. All of this is happening because of him, because of whatever he was into and I'm always forced to pay for his mistakes. Where was he when I needed him? Where was he? He doesn't care about me, if he did he would've never left without me, he would've never lied to me!

When my eyes met up with the mirror, and I saw myself...I didn't even recognize who I was anymore. I wasn't myself anymore. Tears started trailing down my face, and I felt a tightness in my chest. I didn't want to see myself like this, I didn't want to feel like this.

They should've just killed me and taken me out of my misery, relieved me from my pain. Why...why couldn't they have just ended my suffering? I wanted to be with my mom, I needed her. I wanted her to hug me and tell me that she would never leave my side, I needed her to tell me I was going to make it through this.

I was angry at myself, even angry at the world, but how could I be? I should've never come back and deep down I knew for that reason I caused this on myself. I stumbled away from the countertop bumping into the door from my pants still being at my ankles and heading into my room.

I needed to be out of these clothes, I couldn't stay in them. I managed to search through my closet for some bottoms, and the first thing that I ran into was some shorts that was still hanging in the closet. I grabbed them and slowly tried to kick off my pants from my ankles.I managed to get them off and began to put on the shorts but I stopped.

I rubbed my inner upper thigh and saw blood.

The tightness in my chest remained, almost as if I struggled to breathe at the sight of this. I stumbled over to my bed and leaned up against it pulling up my shorts. I stumbled along the walls heading out my bedroom door.

I tried to search for my phone and saw it was laying in the living room, I needed to call for help. The first person I thought about calling was Tessa, she would help me...and she must've been wondering where I was. Nadia would've already been out of town by now...and I only had one shot before my phone completely died.