I'm Blind Not Fragile

Chapter 24

"I found out Raine has a boyfriend today," I tell Erica because I want her to know. I don't mention that he's probably some high-level gang member, but she doesn't need to know that. She needs to convince me that this isn't a betrayal from Raine.

"Really? How long? She didn't tell you?" Erica asks rapidly.

"yeah, she's been keeping this boy secret from me. I don't know why. She knows I wouldn't care if she had a boyfriend or not. I probably would have tried to intimidate him but I wouldn't be hostile about her dating. I don't know how long they've been together. Seems like a while though. Her best friend said she has been sneaking off for months now. Why wouldn't she tell me?" I ask her. Not going to lie, I'm probably fishing for a compliment, such as "I don't know, you are like the best big brother anyone could ask for." but of course, Erica doesn't give it to me.

Erica licks her lips before responding. "Are you sure it's that serious? Maybe she was waiting for her to be sure about this boy before introducing him to you. I mean it is probably her first boyfriend. Maybe she wants to make sure she likes him before making it as official as introducing him to you." She explains. And she's got a point. Raine always waits until she knows for sure about something before telling anyone. She likes to fix problems before anyone even knows there's a problem.

I smile at her before leaning in to kiss her "You always know how to cheer me up." I tell her. She smiles at me and tells me that that's why I keep her around I tease and say there are a lot more things I like her for. We lay on the couch kissing and cuddling. Both ignoring the elephant in the room. The little ball of cells growing inside her. Call me a coward but I'm okay if we put off this conversation. It seems like that is what she wants too because she's not bringing it up.

"Have you looked in Raine's room to try to figure out what's going on? There may be a clue as to why she and your father are together. Maybe he wrote her a brail note or something. Anything." Erica suggests after we were snuggling on the couch for about 25 minutes.

"I haven't. It feels like an invasion of her privacy to go in her room." I say.

"I'm sure she would understand. You're going through her room because you love her and want to know if she's okay. Not because you're being snoopy." Erica was already getting off the couch as she finished her sentence.

"I guess you have a point," I said, glad to have an excuse to assuage my burning curiosity.

We made our way upstairs into Raine's room and looked around. Her room was as familiar to me as my own. She had white walls, mismatched furniture, and the fuzziest bedspread possible. Everything is chosen by touch and feel. Her clothes are neatly organized within her closet. Most of the time I'm the one who puts everything back into her closet for her, but sometimes we tag team it.

Being in her room without her in here felt wrong. It made me miss her so intensely that I felt it in the back of my throat. Erica cleared her voice before asking "Where should we start? I guess I kind of forgot she wouldn't have like pictures in a box, or a written diary."

"Yeah, that's a good point. But I don't know maybe there's like receipts in here? Or memorabilia from dates? Maybe a memo from my dad's office? Anything that was given to her that could explain her secretness or her sudden disapearence." I shrugged suddenly feeling lost. What was there even to find? And what was worth finding that constitutes such an intrusion into her private space?

I was looking at Raine's desk and under her bed when Erica called me over to the closet. Inquiring her while I was walking over, she explained herself.

"I was thinking maybe she had a new outfit or something, but then I looked up and saw all these boxes. What's in here?" I looked up and saw the boxes she was referring to. Raine doesn't use all of her closet space so we have used it as storage space once in a while.