With You, For You

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I appreciated his gift. He told me to thank him with a kiss. I refused so he took it. My mouth is swollen. It hurts a bit. I wonder what people will say.

MAY 17

I can't believe I kissed him back. What is happening to me? What the F is happening? I even enjoyed it. I'm not well at all. He touched my bare chest. My body tingled and he laughed. Then he kissed my neck. I pushed him away and he apologised.

JUNE 12

WE MADE OUT. On his bed. I was only in boxers when we were done. This is wrong but...I like it. I like how he makes me feel. Brian is good. But I'm.in a worse situation.

I have a reaction thinking about the kiss. I saw his bulge too. His smile was cunning as he thanked me for cooperating. He jokingly asked if I should help him.

Joke keh. I understood the situation. This... Nedum was leading this guy.  And he was falling.

JULY 17

I'll miss him. He said he's travelling abroad for the holidays. He told me he'd get me something. I just want him to come back and kiss me again. Or maybe just hold my hand.

SEPT 19

Since school started, he's been avoiding me. Lately, he's been hanging out with Chidera Isong. Are they together? I've heard their parents are friends. Their moms are even best friends. So back to the topic...I don't like seeing them together. It makes me feel very sad like I'm losing him. I don't want to lose Brian as a friend.

SEPT 23

He finally spoke to me, though it was only for a short while. He's more distant and doesn't look at me with those friendly eyes. It's saddening. I wish I could stop thinking of him.

My eyebrows twitched. This had begun to feel somehow.

NOV 9

He invited me over. Just for the day. I happily went only to see Chidera. Again. I dislike her. She looks down on me, just like the rest. I don't blame them. I was used to it.

Hearing the disgusting sounds coming from Brian's room, I know what they are up to. My chest hurts. A lot. I don't think I can bear this. I'll be back.  I need fresh air.

I skipped a few more pages.

NOV 22

I missed his kisses. Weirdly. Am I turning? God forbid. But the way he touched me today made my heart flutter. He said he missed me. Then he said he loves me. I am shocked. Me?

DEC 1

God forgive me. Brian and I did something very dirty this morning. He licked me. At first, it felt strange then I enjoyed it. Why does sin have to feel so good? He said I tasted sweet. I didn't know semen had taste.

I could not breathe properly. "There's still more. Read on." I shook my head and flipped toward the last pages.

MAY 27

Children's Day isn't something to be celebrated. First, your dad was detained for what he didn't do. Secondly, your best friend tells you he's leaving the country. I can't believe he won't be here next semester. He told me not to cry but I can't help it. I love him so much. But he'll leave me.  It's painful. He took me again. I've gotten used to penetration but he's still being careful.