"Eddie or Steve? Y/n you have to choose"

Chapter 16: Its useless

"No y/n I'm sorry.." he tries to explain but you
walk out. It's still raining but you walk home.

You swing open the front door completely soaked. You see Steve on the sofa watching tv.
"Hey, your back...are you okay?" He asks quickly standing up.
"No I'm not"
Steve walks over to you and puts his arms around you. You then lean your head against his chest.
"What happened?" He asks in a calm voice.
"I don't know, Steve I'm a mess, my life is a mess, I fell over twice outside, I'm wet and cold, my knee hurts like fuck, I'm having arguments all the time with Eddie, Im stressed because of our Exams and I just can't deal with being here anymore.." you say really fast.
Steve listens to you.
He hugs you tightly.
"Steve, I just don't feel good enough, like I'm a waste of space.."
"Hey! Your not a waste of space and you are good enough! I promise! And your just going through a shit time but it will get better.." he smiles trying to cheer you up.
"Thanks.." you hugs him again  and he kisses you on your head.
"Let's get you warmed up and sat down"
Steve walks you upstairs to change. He waits outside to give you privacy.
"Also your mum left for work" Steve shouts through the door.
"Alright" you say back.
You swing open your bedroom door and Steve walks in.
"Are you feeling better?" He asks.
"Yeah, a little" you whisper.
"Y/n, let's talk because I sometimes feel better when I talk about my problems with someone, it helps me, does that sound good?"
"Yeah.."
you both lie down on your bed and Steve puts his arm around you.
You and Steve talk for a bit and it calms you down.
Until Steve gets a phone call that ruins the mood.
"Hello?" He answers the phone. He continues to speak. "Oh, okay.."
He then gets off the phone.
"There has been a break in attempt of scoops ahoy I need to go in.." he says standing up.
"Okay, stay safe" you smile.
"I will, however will you be okay on your own for an hour" he asks.
"Yeah I'll be fine" you smile.
He walks out the house and your just left sat on your bed on your own.
You look at your bedside table and see your diary.
You haven't written in that in ages.
As you write things you say it out loud to yourself but because you were home alone you said it in your normal voice.
You picked up the notepad and a pen and started to write but reading what you were writing at the same time.

"Dear diary,
How can I carry on, how can I carry on living like this is.
Why am I not good enough for people.
Why do I look the way I do, why do I look fat and ugly and not half as pretty as everyone else.
I don't know..
I sometimes just with I wasn't here, I also wish that me and Eddie would stop fighting because it makes me sad.
I feel like such a disappointment and a waste of space.
Like I shouldn't be here. Maybe I shouldn't be here.
I don't know what else to write I'm just writing how I feel like shit, and how maybe to end the pain.
I'm not sure, I'm so stressed and under pressure because I don't wanna do or say the wrong thing.
I'm stuck...how do I get out of this situation?
The only good thing is my dad leaving but still worry that he will come back and hurt me again I'm so scared.!

You stop reading out loud as a tear rolls down your cheek and drops onto the paper.
Then all of a sudden a knock comes from your window. You turn your head and it's Eddie.

—————-Eddies pov————-
I couldn't believe what I just heard her say.
A tear rolled down my cheek.
Enough was enough I knocked on her window and she quickly turned to look at me. I could see she had been crying.
She walks towards the window and open it.
"What are you doing here?" She asks.
I jump in her room and get close to her.
"I had no idea you felt like that y/n"  I whisper.
"What do you mean..?" She asks confused.
"I heard you reading out your diary"
She looks down. "FUCK!" She shouts.
"Hey, it's okay! And your perfect just that way you are."
"But Im not, your just saying that to cheer me up"she replies.
"I swear to god you are! And I need you y/n.."
"That's not what you said at your house, I thought you didn't want me huh?" She gets in my face.
"It slipped out, because I didn't want to admit I was jealous of Steve and maybe I am" I whispered.
"He isn't here, he is a work" she says.
I nod.
"You can't end things. Okay? I can't live without you" I say.
She wraps her arms around me slowly.
"I hate arguing with you" she whispers.
"Me too"
We both hug for a couple more seconds and then I let go.
"How is your knee?" I ask.
"Still hurts"
She sits on her bed and closes her diary and puts it away.
————Y/ns pov———
I can't believe he heard that. It's embarrassing.