8th member?

- Our last night as 10

Bold = English

Italic = Chinese

Bold+Italic = I-land voice

'..' = Conversation

"..." = Tv/screen voice

---- = time skip

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'Now we have a day and 7 hours left.' I sigh and lay down on my back. 'I can't believe it's all going to end tomorrow.' 'Tonight is our last night together.' 'No.' Jake pulls me closer to him. 'It feels like we had been running really fast and stopping all of a sudden.' 'I don't want to bring problems, but what are you two going to do?' I look at Sunghoon and know what he means. 'I have no idea.' Jake sighs. 'I hope we debut together. I don't know what would happen with us if we don't.' 'We would have to break up.' I look over my shoulder at Jake as the tears burn in my eyes. 'Never. I will never let you go.' He holds me tighter to his own body. 'We've been together 24/7 for the last 3 months. It will be hard to say goodbye to two people.' The tears that just burned in my eyes now found their way out. 'I can't imagine a life without you guys.' The boys look at me. '3 months ago I was terrified when I walked in and saw only boys. I wanted to turn around and pull back from the show but something told me to at least try. I got so many new friends and to think about loosing all of you. I can't.' My voice breaks. 'You guys are my brothers, best friends.' I turn to look at Jake. 'My soulmate. What should I do without any of you? Go back to training? Give up and go home?' 'You can't give up. With your vocals and talent you will debut anyways. If it isn't in this group, you will in another.' A look around at the other boys show some of them on the verge of tears a well. I take a deep breath. 'Should we have dinner?' 'Yes please.' 'I have no energy.' We walk up stairs. 'I hope staff made us something again. I'm to tired to make something.' Jay nods. 'What's that?' 'What?' Those 2 words are enough to make everyone sprint up the stairs and run towards the kitchen table. 'Daebak!' 10 lunch boxes are on the table. 'Wait!' 'This is mine.' I step closer and see names. I look for mine and find it next to K's. I open it and see a letter. "From mama." 'There is a letter!' I pick it up and open it. Do I want to read it right now? I already feel very emotion today. 'First, let me see what mama prepared.' 'Let's look at it first.' We open our boxes and I let out an excited screech. My favorite dishes, prepared by my mother. I start eating as tears fill my eyes. 'Noona, why?' I look up at Ni-ki. 'Oh you're crying.' 'I just missed my mom's cooking.' I smile while wiping the tears. Heeseung opens his letter. 'My hyung says he likes you more then me.' He looks at Jay making us all laugh. 'Me? Out of the blue?' Heeseung grabs his letter and starts reading. 'Heeseung, it's me. Your hyung. You like to play games with your friends, and you didn't like to study. When I think of you who was so cute, yet so ordinary and immature, I'm so proud of you.' 'Sounds like he's your dad.' 'Lastly, tell Jay that I like him more than you, Heeseung.' We clap. 'What at wist.' 'Read us your letter too.' 'Me?' Jay picks up his letter and starts reading it. 'To my beloved son, hello. Whenever you're down on the ground in I-land and whenever you overcame the obstacle in each mission, I thought I don't have to worry too much anymore. No matter what the result may be, I want to embrace you with open arms when I see you, my son. Good job, my son. I love you.' 'We lived with our parents for the last 19 years and just because we haven't seen them for three months, I had no idee I'd miss them so much.' I see Jake reading his letter while keeping his mouth shut, clearly not wanting to read it out loud for now. 'Now, should I look at it?' Sunghoon opens his letter but looks away. 'I can't read it. I can't.' He gets up and walks away from the table. 'He's already crying.' We're all emotion, so close to the final and after the talk we had less then 5 minutes ago. Sunghoon rarely cries so seeing him like this hurts. 'Don't cry hyung.' He sits back down and really breaks out in crying. I get up from my chair and walk to Sunghoon to hug him. He wraps his arms around meas he puts his face against my stomach. I pat his hair to calm him down. Some of the other boys turned around, not wanting to see him cry. After a couple of minutes sitting in silence Sunghoon regains his strength so I sit back in my own chair. 'What's wrong with me?' He drinks something before reading his letter. 'To my beloved son, Sunghoon. Ever since you started to ice skate, you were always with me. It's also a challenging time for me as will in a different way. You said you wanted to show us. Wait a minute.' He stops reading and takes a deep breath. 'You said you wanted to prove to us that you made the right choice, right? Already in the past two years. Wait, wait, wait.' He stops again as another tear rolls down his face. He looks back at his letter but yet again, his tears fall down his face. 'Let's pass it onto the next person.' Sunghoon gives his letter to Jay and he reads the rest out loud. 'My loving son, do you remember when we went training together? When I see you having fun rehearsing on I-land with your colleagues and when I see you share the joy and sadness, it reminds me of that time. I'm very happy thanks to you being on I-land. My loving son, I'm sure your dream will come true.' We all stay quiet for a minute. 'I'll be cool about it and read it.' I pick up my letter trying to keep the sadness away. 'Okay.' 'It's In English so I will do my best to translate.' The boys nod and I start. 'To my lovely daughter Joy. I miss you over and over again. I even miss you in my sleep.' I look away from the letter. 'Oh.' 'Wait, wait.' Jungwon stops me. 'It's too intense from the beginning.' I let out a scream. 'Okay, continue.' I look back at the letter. 'You know how much we struggled letting you go be a trainee in the first place. When you told us about I-land you were so happy, how could we say no?' I wipe the tear that fell from my eye. 'You have been working so hard and this was your first opportunity to make it as an idol. You made it work living with the boys while we were following every step you and the guys made. It's. Ow.' I look away from the letter and wipe more tears away. 'I don't even know what your parents look like. Why am I so sad?' I look around and everyone is shedding tears. I look back at my letter and continue. 'It's the first time in 19 years that I didn't hear your voice every day. The first time I woke up without a text from you. Maria and Codey get very excited when a new episode goes live, or when they come home from school and can watch what you are doing on the I-LAND cam. Our lovely daughter and sister, you are doing amazing and it doesn't matter what the results may be, in our eyes you already made it. I love you.' I place the letter on the table before hiding my face in my hands while the tears flow out. Again it stays quiet before Jake speaks up as the next member to read his letter. 'Should I wear my hoodie?' He picks up his letter as we stay quiet. 'My loving son, Jake. It's me, eomma. Are you well? While you struggled all day long alone in the studio, and while you are lonely, my heart aches for not being there with you.' He stops and takes a deep breath. We all take a sip before he starts again. 'It must've been so hard to struggle alone all this time. My Jake, I'm so proud of you. Jake. Um.' 'What does it say on the back?' 'I love you so much.' 'Safe.' 'Jake, you ended well.''Everyone is amazing.' K goes next. 'To K.' He stops again as tears already leave his eyes. He starts again. 'I always miss you. So.' He stops again and let the tears fall down. It's the first time any of us see him this way, making it hard on everyone. I pull my hoodie over my head and look down. 'I wish you won't give up on your dream. My adorable baby K, you just have to keep going your way.' He finishes reading and we stay quiet again. I never met the parents of the boys and yet every letter hits hard. 'They gave us this the day before the test. What if our eyes get swollen for the performance tomorrow?' I think back at my mother's words. It doesn't matter what the results may be, in their eyes I already made it. A small smile appears on my face thinking about that. 'Should we record something for our parents?' We all agree. We all get closer together and Jake stands next to me. We say our thank you's to our parents. Before we finish the last bits of food. 'Tomorrow is our big day. We should get enough rest as we have 3 songs to perform instead of 1. Tomorrow we see the other boys again, also BTS and TXT. So we should do our best, word hard, but most of all enjoy it.' The boys nod. We clean everything up before packing it back up as it's from home and not here. 'Should we share a room? All of us together?' 'How do you want to do that?' 'Purple room, 4 beds and we are with 10. 2,2,2,4.' I nod. 'We slept in Rank 1 with 4 once. It would fit.' The others also agree and we go to the purple room. Jake, Ni-ki, Daniel and I lay down in Rank 1. Heeseung and K lay in one, Jungwon and Sunoo in another and Jay and Sunghoon is the last. Jake holds on to me like it's the last time we will see each other. And even though I want to tell him everything will be okay, I don't know if that would be true.