Death of a Nightingale

CHAPTER 34: UNINVITED - NESS

My stomach is still convulsing with the gagging reflex when Luke enters. I've never once seen his face this livid. Like a storm cloud. I gulp, feeling shameful. I gag again but manage to keep down the jellyfish blood. There is no good way to explain this to him. I can't talk myself out of this situation. He also truly deserves some honesty.

"You really are crazy." He states, fighting to keep his voice calm, but I can hear his anger. He's furious.

"That was all we could extract and you have no idea what it could do to you." The cold realization hits me with his words. This could very well kill me, not grant me coveted immortality. I also just took part of his research, the work he fought so hard for, and destroyed it. I feel rotten to the core. All I thought about was Grace. Luke barely even crossed my mind. This beautiful, kind-hearted man standing in front of me deserves more than that. I sigh. I can't even tell him just how sorry I am. It wouldn't suffice.

"Well, now you'll at least see if it'll work." I try to joke but even to me it sounds stupid. Making light of what I have just done isn't a good tactic. It also clearly doesn't work on him. His jaw drops in utter disbelief. I've rendered him speechless. Somehow that doesn't stop my words from continuing on their treacherous path of destruction.

"C'mon, you wanted to drink it yourself too." I joke again and a few days ago I would not only never have said that, but I would also have wanted to slap myself for the irresponsibility, the selfish thoughtlessness, and callous behavior. But this is not the me from a few days ago. This is love-drunk Ness who fell for a melancholic vampire and wants to give her a reason to stick around.

Luke rummages around under his desk and produces a spit-bucket. He shoves it in my direction.

"I'm not playing around here. You can't break into my lab and drink anything you find. This is dangerous."

I hear so many emotions in his voice that it would break my heart if it wasn't already otherwise occupied. I turn the vial in my hand and read the label out loud.

"Soc_11/26/22_batch5_blood_promising***" He shoves the bucket closer as I twist the label and read the hastily scribbled notes on the back.

"'Socrates/Immortality?/Holy Grail.' I'm not drinking anything I find. I wanted to put your theory to the test."

I burp. Eternity doesn't become me. It also tastes like shit.

Luke shakes his head. Disappointment and pain in his expression. So palpable I can almost touch it.

"Who is he?" He asks and I'm stunned. He knows that I've cheated. That I'm not his anymore. He's only a little bit wrong in his question. What do I say? What can I say?

"I already told you -" I start, but he interrupts me and I'm glad he does.

"Then why do you have a hickey on your neck?"

In a moment of dread, I touch my flawless skin. Instinct. Luke retracts, moving further away from me. His face falls flat. Certainty. Now he knows it's true. I didn't even give him the courtesy of being honest. I know he played me with the question but I'm the one we're both ashamed at.

"I don't even know what's worse. You running off with some guy, or you not even having enough respect for me to not lie to my face." His voice breaks and I drop my hand from my neck. I try to explain.

"It's not what you think. It's very complicated."

His shallow nod is hard to watch. I've irreversibly broken something in him and between us. No going back. The perfect life is gone. He turns, ready to leave but sways on the spot, waiting for something. I won't ask him to stay. I won't give him any false hope either. But then it occurs to me that I am the one in his space, not the other way around. I was the one breaking into his place of work and messing with his research. Heat rises to my cheeks and I look at my feet. I put the small, empty vial on the table and ready myself to leave when I hear it. Clear as day. Luke does too.