Guns (Number Five X Reader)

Talk To Ourselves

"I never understood why you suggested here." I said to Five as we entered the bar, the Irish jig blaring around us.

"Because it was closest." Five said.

"Yeah right." I muttered.

"Will you two quit it? For once?" Luther snapped.

Me and Five rolled our eyes and peered around the corner. Sure enough, sat at the bar, was us. We were in our right bodies, both with a pint of beer. I had the briefcase between my legs under the table. Five was writing in his note book.

"Well, there we are." Five said. He took my hand.

Luther followed our gaze to the other versions of us. Due to the fact we were mentally older than them, I'm going to call them the younger versions.

"Why don't we just grab the briefcase and run?" Luther asked.

"As if I'd let that happen." I said, eyeing young me.

"We're trained to gaurd these briefcases with our lives." Five explained.

"We'd hunt us like dogs." I nodded.

"Right." Luther said, pretending he understood what was happening.

"Plus, the inherent paradox where this gets tricky." Five said.

"Trickier." I corrected.

Five rolled his eyes. "We're endangering our existence just by being in the room with ourselves."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Luther asked.

"God you're slow." I rolled my eyes and scratched my neck.

"Luther try to keep up." Five said. "If past us doesn't travel back to 2019 like we're supposed to, the whole thing unravels itself. We cease to exist. You got me?"

"I get you." Luther said, clearly not getting us.

"Technically we're not meant to do that, why everyone keeps trying to kill us." I said. "But he's right, if those two don't go back, us two get destroyed. So we gotta make sure we do go back. Meaning we gotta talk to 'em."

"Reason with them." Five nodded. "They'll understand. Trust me."

"I'd rather chew off my own foot." I smirked.

Five sighed, very annoyed with me, and rolled his eyes. He itched his neck.

"You just itched your neck." Luther pointed. "And you did earlier. That's stage two of paradox phycosis."

"Really, Luther? I had no idea."

"I didn't itch my neck." Five shook his head.

"You did." I told him. "But you do that all the time so we shouldn't worry. And as for me, I didn't."

"Denial is stage one." Luther said.

"We are fine." Me and Five said loudly.

"Let's get this over with." I headed for younger us. Five followed and Luther grabbed both our shoulders.

"Wait!" He whisper shouted.

"What?" I asked, exasperated.

"Maybe I should go first." Luther said.

"Why?" Five asked.

"Well you'll freak them out. Bumping into your own tiny doppelgangers? They will lose their shit."

"Monkey boy's got a point, for once." I said. "Go ahead and warn us, it'll be easier than a bar fight."

Luther nodded and walked over. Me and Five shifted uncomfortably and I itched all over, Five swallowed dryly.