Tempted (Complete)

Chapter 17

Ian

I didn't know myself anymore. I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. I was a stranger to myself. I hated myself. Hurting my wife was the last thing I'd do, but here I was doing it with every breath I took, every thought. I loved Irene, but there was Vanessa. I didn't know if what I felt for her was love or just lust, and I didn't want to find out.

I couldn't look Irene in the eyes, not without feeling ashamed. I was lying to my wife without having to move my lips.

I've never dreamt of things becoming this bad, I wanted my life back, the life I had before I rummaged on those breaks and met the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen. But I'd be lying if I said that's all I wanted. I also wanted Vanessa. I wanted her every damn second of the day. I wanted my eyes on her, all the time. My hands missed the softness of her skin. My body ached for her touch. I missed her and it made my heart pinch. But all I could do was sigh.

I was at a crossroads, confused. I knew the Right thing to do was to let go of Vanessa. I wanted badly to fulfill the oath I made on that altar, but that'd hurt so fucking much, I knew for a fact.

I released another sigh as I stare at my almost empty glass. I didn't want to think right now, I just wanted to escape from all this for a while, I wanted to not think, feel, or do. I just wanted to hide in this bar and drink my confusion away.

The whiskey travelled down my throat and I shuddered, Irene didn't like it when I drink, so I wasn't much of a drinker. But I couldn't help it. This was a midlife crisis, even though I was only in my twenties.

Vanessa... My brain whispered and for a second I wanted to go to her. And thank god I got a hold of myself. If I could save one person from this heartache then I will, I won't confuse Vanessa anymore than I'd already had. I know I was selfish, but I'll try not to be.

Vanessa... My brain repeated and that pinching sensation was felt in my chest area again. Then like a dream, I heard her voice.

"Okay." She said, "mm-hm," she hummed, "don't worry about it." I could tell she was smiling, it was obvious in her tone.

I chuckled, now my brain was just playing tricks on me. I called for the bartender to fill my glass but he was nowhere to be seen, "barman?" I looked around. My heart jumped when my eyes registered a familiar face appearing behind the counter. Big brown eyes, small button nose... Black curly hair. Vanessa.

I rubbed my eyes, am I seeing things now? No, she was there. Her big eyes becoming bigger as she stare at me in surprise.

"Vanessa." I whispered.

She just froze.

"Vanessa." I chuckled, feeling a joy in my chest. I wanted to pull her in my arms and squeeze the life out of her.

"Hi," she breathed, moving hesitantly towards me. She was now standing an arms reach from me, the counter separating us; good. I don't know what I'll do if I managed to touch her.

I smiled, a lot of emotions overwhelming me. I handed her my empty glass, "whiskey." I told her.

She didn't move, studying me, "you're drunk." The words were hesitant.

She cared.

I smiled widely.

"Your hair is black." I pointed out.

She smiled, touching it, "I dyed it."

"It suits you." I complimented. Everything suited her. Everything looked good on her. Suddenly, my heart dropped, "you're working here?" I frowned deeply.