INSECURITIES.

CHAPTER 35

You act like you in it but, you were never here with me.
I wish it could be, I wish it could be like ABC.

I had no idea of how far the time has been spent until I check my cell.
8:54pm.
I'm supposed to be asleep by 9pm.

My mind quickly flashes back to when I used to be awake till 3am, chatting with Dave.
By this time, Lewis Capaldi's  forever is playing from my speaker.
Now there is me going to bed by 9pm.
9pm was the beginning of our day then.

That time when he used to be excited to talk to me.

That time when we would talk on the phone for hours.

That time when he would run out of airtime and I would call back because we couldn't get enough of each other.

That time when he would sleep on my text and wake up as early as 6am to apologise and send me a good morning text before I wake up.

That time when we sing for each other.

God.

I want those times back.
I miss those times.

Nobody said that it would last forever.
That doesn't mean we didn't try to get there.
I never said that we would die together.
That doesn't mean it was a lie remember.

That doesn't mean what we shared was a lie right?
We actually did feel something for each other right?

My thoughts plague me into the early hours until eventually, I fall into a fitful, exhausted sleep.

                         ******
Friday, 24th December 2021.

The day drags and drags until it's time for me to go get my clothes from Mrs. Johnson's place.

I put on a sleeveless body hug dress that stops at my mid-thigh and some perfume oil. I do not bother applying anything on my face as it is already night; 7pm to be precise.

I get to Mrs. Johnson's place and test out all the clothes in the dressing room. They look really pretty but they are so much. For some reason, the clothes brightens up my sour mood.
I really love new clothes. Plus, they look really good on me.
I'm so hot.

I can't imagine Dave just let me leave his life.

I thank Mrs.Johnson and head out of her place. I stand for what feels like hours but no cab seems to be stopping for me, even the empty ones.

Is there something wrong with me?

I bring out my phone to check my Instagram notifications, praying silently that Dave doesn't come my way.
Getting bored of my phone so quickly, I put it back in my bag.
I've been here since 7:30 and its 8:03 already.

Anybody would be frustrated at this point.

I would have decided to take a walk home but the bag of clothes are so heavy for me.

Nobody I know is even passing by, not even Ryan.
Urgh.

Two figures suddenly walk past me. One with curly hair and the other on low cut.
The curly hair guy really looks like Tokyo but what would Tokyo be doing in my estate by this time?

Besides, he's in school.

But from the videos he has sent to me, I could swear that this guy is Tokyo. Or does Tokyo have a twin?

Should I call him?

But what if it's not him?

"Tokyo!"