INSECURITIES.

CHAPTER 8.

Third person

21st, November 2020.

Another fight came up between these two friends as usual but this was quite deep because a third party was involved.

Dave started to make Jasmine feel insecure and unimportant again and she asked him for some space.

She was scrolling through her news feed and she saw a post concerning friendship.
The individual who happened to make the post, was a low budget therapist and a relationship counsellor so Jasmine decided to text him and talk to him about her issues.

Adviser: What is your problem, let me see how I can go about it.

Jasmine: It's related to the post you made some hours ago.
I have a male friend who I choose over every one but I doubt if he reciprocates that.
I'm a very insecure person and most times, I tend to avoid him by not talking to him.
I do this repeatedly but he comes back and we make up.

Adviser: Do you like him?
This question is the basis on which I will advise you.

Jasmine: I mean as a friend, yes of course.
But feelings, NO.

Adviser: Hmm, then I don't think there is anything wrong in giving him space.

Jasmine: I always do but the things he says to me stops me from leaving.

Adviser: What does he say?

Jasmine: He makes me feel bad for having the intention of leaving, but at the same time, he makes it look like he is not forcing me to stay.
He begins to remind me of the promise I made to him not to ever leave, and he reminds me of all the blissful memories we've had.
He basically says words to make me feel like I'm important whenever I want to leave.

Adviser: Yes, It's a symbiosis.
You both need each other.
Just go with the flow, there is absolutely nothing wrong alright
You both need your moments to yourself.
Ask him if he needs space and if his response is affirmative, assure him that you'll always be available when he needs you.

Jasmine: So you think I shouldn't leave?

Adviser: No, don't leave.
You will damage yourself, and him too.

Jasmine: Something happened recently and I told him I no longer want to talk to him.
He's already sending long texts as we speak.

Adviser: Talk to him please, that's the right thing to do.

Jasmine: The last message he sent is "I'm tired Jasmine, for how long?"
What should my response be?

Adviser: How long. . . ?
What does that mean?

Jasmine: I guess he means how long will we continue this way.
To be honest, I think the main issue in our friendship is my insecurities, it's too much for me to handle.

Adviser: Yes, everyone has insecurities.
You have to tame them.
Tell yourself that he isn't going anywhere, at least he assured you that.
What exactly does he want and what do you want yourself?

Jasmine: He wants me to stop bringing up the idea of ending our friendship always, I want that also but my insecurities. . . .

Adviser: Let your insecurities die!
You love him as a friend and nothing more.
He is interested in the friendship also.
Support him and stop starving him so he doesn't go elsewhere looking for it.

Jasmine: Thanks a lot.
So you think I should reply to his message?

Adviser: Yes.
Apologise, he will calm down.