INSECURITIES.

CHAPTER 21

Things didn't really go as planned on Jasmine's path.
She thought moving on was a one day thing but that wasn't it.
At least not for someone you're genuinely in love with.

Fate had it's way of playing games in Jasmine's life.
Moving on was literally the most difficult task she had ever encountered.

The fact that she was really in love with Dave made everything really frustrating and tough for her.

One moment, she felt like she had finally forgotten about him and the next moment he's running through her damn mind!

Her heart always skipped whenever his name was mentioned or whenever she saw a car similar to his passing by.

Life was so difficult for her.
She was going through the most difficult phase ever.

She never knew what heartbreak really felt like till this moment.
A lot of emotions clouding up inside her.

Her only help was music.
Sad music!
It felt like it made her heart ache more tho but she still listened to them anyways.

It got so bad she opened an Instagram account.
A special Instagram account.
An account where she poured out her feelings.
Nobody knew who she was.
Just an anonymous girl posting what 80% of humans could relate to.

Thanks to him, she was now writing heartbreak quotes.

She scouted for pictures that corresponded with her quotes and she also downloaded the app for writing where she could edit and make the final finishing there.

Her first post went thus:

''Thanks for giving me something to finally write about, heartbreak.''

And then others followed.

''Why did you make me fall in love with you if you know you won't love me back?''

''One day you'll realize I was the only person who could ever love you the way I did and you'll try coming back for me but then, it'd be too late.''

People began to text her sharing their experiences on how their heart got broken also but none seemed similar to hers tho.

One of the girls she met, Alicia, told her about how she walked in on her boyfriend making out with her best friend.
She felt really betrayed and according to her, the worst part was that they never cared to reach out to her to explain themselves or what not.

She found herself consoling someone else while she was broken herself.
Funny how the world operated tho.

Every night she slept, he always appeared in her dreams and whenever she woke up, her heart was always racing so fast.

"Why can't this boy get the fuck out of my head!?
Out of my heart!?
Out of my life!?"

She felt like the saddest girl on the planet, literally.

She would listen to phora's album and she always felt a sharp pain in her heart.
This happened occasionally and it soon became a routine to her.

She never slept at midnights.
Always feeling that sharp pain in her heart and listening to sad songs to make it worse.

She decided that the best time for her to start posting was at midnights.

''I pray all this pain will be over one day and I would tell people my story.''

''I hope she helps you realize that you will never find another girl like me.''

''I'm dying slowly but no one seems to be noticing.
Even the ones that do, doesn't really care.''

''I don't hate you, I hate the fact that I couldn't control my emotions towards you even when I clearly knew that we never had a chance of being together.''

A lot more quotes she had but she didn't want to post them all at once.

Sometimes she would stay in the toilet and cry her eyes out.

Whatever she was going through tho. . .
She made up her mind that she would never, ever text him.
No matter how much pain she felt.
Enough was enough.

At least if he really cared, he would have reached out by now.

She also tried her best not to visit/stalk his page because that would only make situations worse and she was excelling at that.
Although, it was really hard.

Her British friend told her not to block him so he could see that she was doing very good without him in her life.

Jasmine never believed she could shed a tear for any guy in her lifetime but she found herself doing it every now and then.

Sometimes, she would be lost in her thoughts and she would just start crying.
Crying really hard because she felt too young to experience all this pain.
Acting like she was happy, showing the world fake smiles.

She was tired.

She couldn't in her wildest imagination have the thought that a guy will fuck her up this bad.

She always saw posts telling her to move on and love herself.
But the question was how?
How could she love herself?
She most definitely didn't have an answer to that.

It got to a point where she had to search it up on Google.

''How to move on and love yourself.''

She got results like;
•putting your self first before anyone else.
•forgiving yourself and forgiving the person who hurt you.
•trying not to stalk the person.
•working out.
•avoiding one on one contact with the person who hurt you for at least 16weeks or more.

According to the therapist, when you come across the person who hurt you, all the emotions and memories of you guys together comes back and you have to start all over from square one.
You have to start trying to forget him/her once again so avoiding that person till you're physically and mentally strong to face them is the best option.

Well on Jasmine's path, she hadn't seen him since the last time they met and she suddenly knew her "worth.''

That happened during the period of September and it was November already.

One question remained on her mind tho.
A question she found so hard to answer.

''How would I react when I see him?''

What if on his path, everything was normal and he didn't feel 1% emotion?

What if he felt like she was dealing with her insecurities and she needed space which was why he didn't reach out?

What if he sees her and comes to meet her, acting so normal like nothing happened?

When he turned her into a writer by 3am.
Not just any writer
A heartbreak writer.

All the tears.
The pain.
The emptiness.

What if it was all nothing on his path?

All in all, she just hoped for one thing.
-they should never ever cross paths again.

*******
You guys insecurities is back!
(Based on reader's request tho.)
This book was completed last year but a lot of my readers said they needed more drama between Dave and Jasmine.
After a few thoughts. . .
I'm back y'all!!😌👉👈💛
Back with heavy contents, twists and drama.
Y'all ain't even ready for real.
The only way you guys can encourage me is by voting📍

Until next time😏
Bye👉👈💛