The Bad Boys' Soft Boys' Lonely Hearts Club - The Full Package

The Treasonous Treason Of A Traitorous Traitor

There's a hell of a bunch of hair on their face, but I swear I can see the vamwolf blush. "Of course I am! Which makes this a battle not only for the future of the forest, but of my body autonomy!"

I'm still incredibly lost. Unfortunately, the furry leans further into me, trying to whisper over the commotion of the crowd. "Dude, haven't you read any omegaverse fanfic, like, ever? Everybody knows male werewolves have a uterus in their rectum.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yes, Omegas having uteri in their rectum is a common thing in Omegaverse fiction/fanfiction. However, dwelling on the "mpreg" theme would make this story Mature, as such, we shall avoid the theme altogether. Just know, male werewolves do get pregnant.

Yeah, I'm gonna go with the mysterious author note over there. The moment the word "Fanfic" was uttered, I'm out. "Look, bro, whatever floats your boat. I'm all about body autonomy and shit. You bussy, your choice."

The racist pixie floats in the middle of the huddle, as if to catch our attention. "Well, if we're calling dibs, I'll take that Brayden twerp. He massacred my people!"

Interesting. Very interesting. I was wondering how the idiot managed to shoot up to number one. "Oh? Do tell."

"I was with 80 of my best warriors, just milling about, hunting these filthy heteromorphs, as one does, when we came across this... squirt! We thought he was going to be an easy prey, so we pounced on him and, slap!" she says, slapping her tiny hands in front of my face. "Slap, slap, slap! One after the other, slapped out of the air like mosquitoes! It took us by surprise. Once the first few fell to his nefarious hands, there was mass panic in our ranks. Many sacrificed themselves to let me escape. But their sacrifice will not be in vain. I'll rain down my vengeance upon him!"

Oh, my sweet, racist pixie. He's a bad boy with plot armor. Hell will freeze over before a fan favorite gets his comeuppance.

"I call dibs on the lanky, magical bitch over there," I say, pointing at, I guess Jayden, no? Dumn fucking name. "I have a score to settle. Got any grudges, Bulsion?"

"Bulsion is a true egalitarian," says Bulsion. "I hate everyone the same."

"And what do I do, daddy?" asks the furry.

"I told you, you're gonna be my balls shield!" says the Vamwolf.

The furry trembles in excitement as he covers his furry mouth. "Yes, daddy!"

The magic lights conveniently convert on the podium just as we reach a consensus. The crowd goes wild as the dragnpa takes center stage. Raising his cane, he shuts the crowd to a low murmur. "We will now begin the match. Are the teams ready?"

We break our huddle and get into our starting position at the end of the platform. I'm on the far right corner, and opposite to me is Brayden, picking his nose and tossing it to the void. To my left is the fairy, followed by Bulsion in the middle, the Vamwolf, and the furry in the far left position. Next to Brayden is Trevor the Man-man, followed by Hayden in the middle, Jayden, and Okayden in the far left corner.

I'm kinda worried about Hayden. His eyes are just as unhinged as the last time we played dodgeball, and for those of you who don't remember how that went, it ended up with me with a full-blown concussion, a pair of soiled pants, and a bruised ego. And that was with my ball-proof glasses on!

"On your marks," says the dragnpa as green energy gthers on the tip of his cane, "get set... play ball!"

A ball of light shoots out of the tip of the cane, exploding in the air in a flower of green sparks. I wonder if they know that fireworks are a thing. Seems like a waste of good mana. It is very pretty, but I don't have the time to appreciate it as both Okayden and the Vamwolf fly to the center of the court in a flash, leaving everyone else in the dust.