The War Of The Mallapers: A Rejected Werewolf Story

Chapter Eighteen

Leyla 

The night had passed, sleep didn't come easy. All I could do was toss and turn tiresomely. I could see the morning light creep in through the gap of my small tent. It trickled in landing on my restless eyes. I groaned, wiping the sleep from the corner of my eyes knowing that rest was not something I could grasp. I always wanted to travel across the Kingdom lands, memories of Nona flooded my mind when I would tell her my dreams and aspirations. I hoped to escape the Royal Pack, due to my difficult childhood and being an orphan, it never quite felt like home. I always hoped that I would be able to find a home somewhere else, maybe locate my mate, get married and have a couple of pups. Never did I expect to be visiting packs in these circumstances. 

This pack was the land of my mother's birth, it was her home, it was the home of my ancestors, yet it didn't feel familiar or welcoming. I was extremely sensitive to my mother's emotions. I could feel her reliving the pain, the rejection, the abandonment of her family. Even though I haven't spent years with her, I felt like I knew her, I could sense where her thoughts were going. To some extent, she didn't only blame Alexander my father for what had happened. She placed the responsibility with her family, who should have known her better.

I could sense every time I spoke to my parents there was this heavy burdened question of 'what if?' What if my parents believed in me? What if my mate hadn't chosen another over me? What ifI didn't believe my child was dead all these years? What if I recognised my child earlier? I couldn't blame them for having those thoughts, when I used to think the same about Ryan. However, it seemed counter-productive to think that way. No matter what, we can't rewind the clock and change the past. 

I'm proud of you. Amira states in the back of my mind as I start to stretch my limbs out. 

What for? I haven't exactly done anything. I scoff in response as I push myself up from the ground, kicking the sheets of my body. 

I can feel Amira shake her head at my reply. Don't underestimate yourself. Your mind is interesting and your perspective is wise beyond your years. I am blessed to be paired with a worthy human. 

I don't know what to say because as much as I appreciate her words, I can't help but sell myself short. Everything within me feels different and at this moment I can't work out if that is a blessing or not. My emotions were no longer simmering below the surface like they did before, but they rather felt like they were engulfed in flames. Flames that I could no longer control. I think back to when I was in the Mallaper's pack grounds, the amount of damage and power that seeped out of my hands any made me more weary. The power that I unleashed was extremely addictive. It was something that made my eyes clench with fear. I let out a sigh and make my way out the tent. I was thankful to be assigned a single person tent, as much as I wanted to be there for my mother, for her pack, I just needed some time on my own. 

My eyes wander the landscapes, there must be over two dozen tents set up, all ranging from different sizes. I imagine that the bigger ones were given to families, while the big tent was where my mother and uncle had set up camp. I wonder whether they struggled with sleep or whether they spent the evening strategising their next moves. Even though the sun was rising, it was still quiet and calm, all that was heard was the humming of crickets that were chirping in the dry wheat crops around the land. I swiftly moved and dived in between the small gaps of the tents, lightly treading away from the camp, hoping to find somewhere isolated from the pack members that would soon begin to wake. 

My feet was bare but carried me forward. There was this buzz of excitement that burned in my chest. There was something exhilarating about being somewhere new, but there was this heavy weight of caution that soon followed. I couldn't help but bring my hand to the amulet that was still firmly residing on my chest. 

Leyla... Do you feel that? Amira hummed in the back of my mind. I shook my head, not knowing what she was talking about. There were so many thoughts, so many emotions that were racing through my mind, that I couldn't even understand what feeling she was talking about. 

Not a feeling, as emotion Leyla. Amira huffed. Close your eyes and focus. She ordered. I did as she said. Now clear your mind, remember what Nona taught you. Find your centre. Find your peace. 

I inhaled deeply and held my breath like I was going deep underwater, feeling the tightness of my chest, but the sag of my shoulders as I finally released the air that was trapped within my lungs. It was then that I felt a pulse, it was like a small beat, a patter of a drum. However, it wasn't something I felt in the centre of my centre of my chest but it was a pulse that was lighting thumping in the palm of my hand. 

My eyes widened with surprise. I couldn't help but quickly release the amulet that was clenched in my hand. Very quickly I brought my hands to my eyes and rubbed them, wondering if it was a sleep deprived hallucination. But my brain was quickly intercepted by the huff and puff of Amira's voice. 

What the hell was that?! I exclaimed in the back of my mind. 

I don't know! I thought I was imagining it. Your mind has been a mess but I thought I could feel something in between all of that. Amira explained. 

When did it start? I queried. 

I don't know if it has been going on longer than that because of everything else that has been going on. Your mind and heart are completely overwhelmed with emotions that if it was going on before then, I wouldn't have know. She finished. 

A sense of guilt overwhelmed me. I didn't realise how much my inner turmoil was affecting her. If I had a headache and restless night, then so did Amira. I could feel her anxiety heightening more and more in recent days. All I could was hang my head in shame, remembering that I had forgotten Nona's teachings. It felt as if I stabbed her in the back after everything she did for me, after she sacrificed her life for mine. 

Amira heavily sighed. Don't be too hard on yourself. It has been a testing few days for both of us. Remember what you feel, I feel. What you do, I do. We are one and nothing can change that. All I could do was mumble a small thanks under my breath, not knowing what else I could say to ease her tensions.  

My feet seemed to come to an abrupt stop, I couldn't work out where I was or how I got here. I was so lost in my conversation with a Amira that I seemed to have come to a dead end. I couldn't help but look around, desperately seeking someone that might be able to guide me back to the camp because no matter where I looked I couldn't see anyone or anything in the horizon. The only thing that I could see was a small stone closed gazebo that was surrounded by what appeared to Gardenias. 

I couldn't help the furrow of my brow as took wider steps to look at what hidden in the valley. The closer I got the more I could appreciate it's craftsmanship. The stone looked centuries old, but was smooth and delicately carved. It almost looked as if the whole enclosure was made out of white marble. As my eyes gazed on exterior, I could notice small intricate cravings cut throughout. All I could do was wonder was how long it must of taken someone to make this. The closer I could, the more I felt a sense of belonging. 

I was within metres of the small arched gazebo and it was then that I realised that there was a gateway into it, one that was welcomed by small Gardenias leading to it's entrance. Even though I was close, the darkness and shadows were so consuming that I couldn't quite make out what was inside. Although there a sense of fear that I was trespassing, my curiosity had peaked like a cat. It was then that I took a deep breath and proceeded to enter the gateway. 

I couldn't help but find my surprise at the man kneeling with his head pushed back and his face reaching up to the heavens. Even though my interactions were limited with him. He carried the same facial features that stared at with love and concern each day. Except this face was something that was contorted with pain. I could see the small glacial tear run down his cheek but not a whisper of breath came out of his mouth. 

I couldn't help the croaked cough that escaped my lips. It was then that his head snapped to mine, his eyes sneered with anger as he brushed the escaped tear. However, his eyes widened and eased within seconds as he realised it was me. 

The grandaughter, he didn't know.