Run to You | Xu Minghao ; THE 8

XX

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We both need the same thing
우리 둘 다 같은 것 필요해
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*Minghao's POV*

Jia had gone to shower, so I was just sitting on the couch scrolling down the list of movies on the TV when I heard a thud from her room.

"Jia?" I called as I stood up and made my way there. Everything was in place, so where had that sound come from? I was going to call Jia again, but I noticed something peeking out from behind the desk, which had probably fallen down. I bent down and saw that it was a familiar-looking old diary.

Even though I didn't want to, I ended up picking it up. The cover was pretty, it had a blue aesthetic with pictures of flowers, the sea, and starry nights. On top of it, her name was cutely doodled. I smiled and opened it, and shuffled through the entries.

I finally arrived in China! I couldn't journal about it because it was very chaotic shifting all my things...but I'm finally here! I finally got into my dream university!

.....

I haven't had any luck making friends here yet...but oh well, I guess one's own company isn't that bad, is it?

But I'm kind of scared, because everyone here is just so much better... I'm kind of beginning to doubt myself...

.....

I collapsed again while practising today. My mom gave me the news about my dad last night, and I couldn't sleep at all. I came to the practice room to divert my mind...but I ended up just getting more frustrated.

Why do things never go our way...?

.....

Something really, really insane happened. The ace of this university...Xu Minghao...approached me while the trainer was...well, was criticising me again. And he...stepped up for me? I don't understand why. Even I have given up on myself. So, why?

.....

I guess it's safe to say that I'm friends with Minghao. He's actually such a nice person, and he's quite adorable if I do say so myself...Ah, what am I doing? I should practice for the contest...Oh! Minghao's here!

.....

Minghao took me to the garden today. The same one I had told him was my comfort place.

God, I hadn't been here for so long...

Xu Minghao...I think...I think I'm falling for you...

.....

We kissed. Minghao and I kissed.

I sound so calm right now, don't I?

BUT MINGHAO AND I KISSED OHMYGODKHAKHLAK IS THIS REAL??? I don't think I can ever get tired of this feeling...of his plump, soft lips on mine...of the way we perfectly fit with each other...and...oh god, Moon Jia! What the hell are you thinking?

Yep, I'm definitely head over heels for you, Xu Minghao.

.....

My smile continued growing brighter and brighter as I flipped through the pages, reading more and more entries that made my heart flutter. She had kept a record of all our memories, and I was so grateful.

The last entry was about the night before her flight to Korea. I teared up reading that, and when I turned the page, there was nothing more.

I frowned as I flipped the pages, hoping to see something more. Why had she stopped writing after she had left China? We still stayed in touch...I wonder why she didn't write about those times...

I kept on flipping the pages when at the very end of the diary, I saw her loopy handwriting and I froze. I brought it up to read.

08.08.2020

You left. Another person left me. Why, Minghao? Why did you leave without an explanation? Did I really mean nothing to you? Were you really like all those other people, all this time...?

I'm really sorry, but I just wish, I wish I could forget you. Forget all the pain you've caused me.

I'm going to forget about you, starting now.

Thank you for everything.

......

I felt numb after reading those words. I couldn't bear reading any more of it.

I could have prevented this...if only...if only I had just talked to her from the start. My hands trembled uncontrollably as I closed my eyes and tears fell down my cheeks.

What had I done?

How could I do this to Jia? How could I hurt her like this?

I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I couldn't make a sound. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.

Yes, we had gotten over the past now. But she hadn't opened up to me fully yet. I hadn't pushed her out of fear. I wonder what else there was that she has been hiding.

I felt sick, like I didn't know who I was anymore. All these thoughts swirled around inside my mind, making me feel dizzy and nauseous. Suddenly, everything around me faded away and I lost track of reality.

The last thing I remember was seeing her face, and her distant voice faintly calling out my name.

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