just thinking about you.

possibilities

boyfriends 

Happiness is easier believed than achieved.

I refused to give up hope at first, things would change if I just tried a little harder...

I was wrong.

My days blended together, a collage of wedding plans, delays, and "are you okays".

My lips were occasionally tinted red by the only thing that could temporarily take away my feelings.

I know I took him for granted, and I'm too late, just like I was with my mom. All my efforts inevitably fail.

Sometimes I stare at my phone for hours,

Maybe I should try to call? I could apologize and tell him it was all a misunderstanding.

But I don't, that isn't fair. He's probably happy now.

The warm Los Angeles sun tanning his skin, possibly doing what he loves...maybe a lover.

It's fair for me to come raining down on his life with my problems. My never-ending problems.

If only he knew what I was thinking, if only he knew that it hurt me to get away from him too. To hear the whispers when he entered a room. But I knew it was selfish of me to say anything, I made my decision.

And now I have to live with it.

A heartbroken fool.

Some days I think I'll open my door and he'll be there, saying the right things to get under my skin and I'll spill everything I've been keeping contained.

I don't wanna be alone.

So at night I lay awake, eyes wide open, daydreaming our dream. 

---------------

a/n Sooooo the story is coming to an end :-( I'd love to know what you think! This is far from my last experiment with albums and *hopefully* my next ones will be a little more planned out (if my health permits it). Only one more chapter to gooooooo!

-Kaylaa'