just thinking about you.

summer in new york

satellite 

I don't know if it was a good idea to invite her.

I felt bad, it was my parents' special night, but I could barely keep my eyes off her, she was breathtaking.

A lot of questions remained unanswered between us after that night. She basically laid all her cards out, but I was too conflicted to decide where to go from there.

It's not that I don't want her anymore, that's far from it, but how do you let someone in that you convinced yourself you'd never have?

After a day or two of not talking to her, when I picked her up this morning, I noticed that none of his belongings remained in the house. Subconsciously I could feel some of the barriers I still had up come down, he was gone.

"You seem a little lonely out here."

She walked up beside me on the balcony.

"I needed some fresh air."

I was so accustomed to the weather in L.A. I almost forgot how humid summers get in New York.

We watch the city below us, lights twinkling in the distance like satellites in space.

She breaks the silence.

"Look, I get it, you have a new life now and it's not fair to come out of nowhere to bother you with my feelings. Don't feel obligated to talk to me or explain anything...I love you and I couldn't continue living my life without making that explicitly clear to you. I know I wasn't kind with your heart in the past and if you want to rub that in my face, I get it, but at the end of day I just want you to be happy...and if that's not with me that's ok too."

She lets out a breath and turns around to head back inside the venue.

"I'm right here,"

She stops.

"I'm not going anywhere...I've waited far too long to just walk away now."