That Broken Girl ⇒ Kian Lawley

22

Knocking sounded at the bathroom door, waking me up from the loss of blood and stress coma I was induced in. My eyes immediately darted to my left wrist, dry blood and slow forming scabs covering every inch of my forearm. It grossed me out slightly, and it hurt to even move at this point, but I knew I had to.

"Ryley, are you okay?" Kian's voice rang through my ears. My stomach churned at the thought of what he and Andrea could have possible done, which made me move off the floor as quick as possible. I stumbled and became so dizzy that I had to grip onto the sink, or I would have fallen to the ground. Black spots instantly invaded my vision, forcing me to close my eyes as the pain seared to my head at such a fast rate. I could practically feel my brain pounding against my skull, and the amount of pain I was enduring currently was unbearable.

"N-no... Kian I-I need... I need help." I choked out, sobs emitting from my mouth while salty tears streaked my cheeks. As much as I should avoid him, I cannot deal with the pain for another second, and Kian might possibly be the only person to help me.

"Ryley, can I please come in?"

I nodded, but remembered that he couldn't see me, "Yes... Just please make this pain go away."

The door to the bathroom creaked open, and Kian rushed to my side immediately. He gripped onto my shoulders and forced me to sit down on the toilet as his hand was holding my left wrist, causing me to hiss at the added pain. Once my eyes met his glazed over ones, a single tear strayed down his soft cheek while he tried getting some words out of his mouth.

"You were doing so well, why?"

My eyes darted between his, "Y-you were with Andrea and you forgot about me, the pain in my heart was unbearable. I thought you wanted her back and you would forget about me and our friendship, she has the perfect body, the perfect face, the perfect tan, she is walking perfection and I'm not, I thought you wanted her. I'm not nearly as skinny as her, nor will I ever be. I'll never be as perfect as her Kian, and you have had feelings for her before you became friends with me, if I didn't get in the way of that... y-you would still be with her, and you would be happier... b-but I thought you were going to forget about me, and I started to hate myself even more than I already did. At the beginning of the year when we first met, I promised myself that I wouldn't have any friends, that I would strictly focus on school. Every person I have ever let into my life has always left, leaving me with an even bigger crippled heart than before. I was tired of getting hurt, but I don't know what happened with you or Jenn or just everyone, I let my guard down thinking you guys actually cared about me, but that was a lie too, wasn't it? Your guys' lives were perfect without me, and I came and ruined that. Andrea broke up with you because of me, and now she wants you back, and I have accepted that. I just don't want to fucking live anymore, because I will just keep getting taken advantage of it, and I'm so fucking tired of that Kian, I'm so fucking tired of living."

He took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my face, "Ryley, I would never ever, in a million years, leave you. You are perfect to me, your personality and I don't even care what you look like! You're beautiful on the inside and out, you have a perfect heart. You are so nice and caring, I don't know why anyone would want to hurt you. I would never ever leave you, especially not for Andrea, her and I are history. I'm so sorry I did this to you, I never meant for this to happen, and if I could take back time I would. I'm so sorry that it looked like Andrea and I were flirting or being all coupley, that was not the plan at all, you were just hanging out with Mikey and I didn't want to interrupt you guys, and Andrea just walked up to me and started talking and I hate being mean, I didn't want to just push her away. Her and I are never getting together, you and I are never going to stop loving each other. I couldn't bare ever losing you, that's why I kept trying to be your friend. You were so gentle and sweet, I saw how everyone crushed that. Ryley, you gave me a chance and that's more than I could ever ask for. I don't even know where I'm going with this, I just don't want you thinking that I don't care about you, because you are everything, to me at least. Sometimes I have a hard time getting out of bed, sometimes I don't think it's worth getting up and how easily I could just waste my day in bed, but I always always got out of bed because I knew there was an amazing girl waiting for me. I feel so strongly about you, and I hope that I am able to spend the rest of my life with you, friend or more, because I wouldn't ask to spend it with any other girl, especially Andrea. She walked away from our relationship, and I would never walk back into it, especially when I have an amazing best friend sitting right in front of me. I would never change what I have now, because you are all I need."