That Broken Girl ⇒ Kian Lawley

11

Screaming isn't a very great way to wake up, especially when you can distinctively pinpoint non recognizable voices in the argument. I buried my head into Kian's chest, hoping to block out any further noises of the brawl. It ended up getting really bad, to the extent of hearing objects shattering on the hardwood floor. Kian rubbed my back in a fairly effective way as I began to shake.

"Kian... I'm scared." I mumbled, sobs emitting from my mouth, echoing throughout the bare minimum of my room. It reminded me of the time my mother and her boyfriend of eleven years had this really bad fight where he physically hurt her when I was in the room. It had scarred me for life to the point where when I hear shouting, I get really bad flashbacks.

Kian shushed me while holding me tightly in his arms to try and calm me down. We were still on the living room couch from last night where we both fell asleep and even when I heard the sounds, they were coming from upstairs.

What was even going on?

I heard one last crash, possibly a porcelain lamp being thrashed to the ground, then the front door was slammed shut, so hard that it caused the house to rumble. I was beyond scared at this point, and at some point in all this, I actually thought that my life could be in danger which may seem ridiculous to an outsider, but with what I've had to endure, it's scary.

I lifted my head for the first time since the fight started, Kian was already staring at me. I knew I probably looked really bad, and I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, tickling them as they left stains.

"Hey, it's okay," he whispered, wiping my tears away with his thumb, "It was just the boys fighting, it doesn't happen much, but when it does, it gets a bit bad. They're clumsy, which is where that crash came from, it's nothing to worry about."

"Okay," I choked out.

"Are you okay?" He asked after moments of silence.

I thought for a second, I felt numb, but I didn't know exactly if I was okay. If I were to answer honestly, I don't even know what I'd say. Truthfully, it would be extreme to say that I didn't want to be on this planet living, but it was true, and personally I don't think many people would be affected. I know I shouldn't be thinking of suicide when someone who cares about me is right beside me, but the dark side of my mind bellows out from the shadows in times like this.

"I want to die," I answered truthfully, knowing I could trust Kian. He knows about my past, although he doesn't know about my mother, he knows enough to be trusted.

"I completely understand, but unfortunately I can't allow you to do that, because I wouldn't be able to live without my best friend."

"You just met me," I muttered, falling back to the same depressing state I was in a few days ago.

"No, just met would be like... just meeting. We've been friends for like a whole two weeks." He reassured, hugging me tightly.

"What is this for?" I asked, gesturing to his arms, linked protectively around my torso.

"Best friends need to show each other how much they care, or they'll never know... and I think showing you how much I care about your existence is way better than telling you." He replied. I'm almost positive I was blushing, my face felt like the sun and I swear I was going to implode any second.

"What's today?" I questioned.

"Tuesday."

"No, I mean the date doofus."

"Oh, well in that case..." He trailed off, leaning over me to grab his phone, hiding the screen from me once he checked the date, "It's the twentieth of January." He replied, a smug smirk planted directly on his face, like the gears in his head were finally turning.

"What's that face for?" I acknowledged, feeling quite alarmed when he began spacing out and staring at the ceiling light.

"Change of plans, let's go out and do something." He beamed, getting out of the warm blankets himself.

"We had plans before this?" I blurted, not quite sure if it made sense or not. He shrugged, walking over to the bathroom.

"I'm going to the restroom." He said shyly, before closing the door behind him. I looked around the room, realizing the other boys were gone. They must've left before I woke up, subsequently being together upstairs for a time before breaking out into a fight.

I stood up, only to fall back down, an insane dizziness feeling hitting me like a ton of bricks. Pain rushed to my head while I saw black spots in my vision. After all that passed, I walked over to the kitchen and peeled a banana as food for today. I'm trying to eat one small thing everyday to prevent me from starving to death.

"We're stopping by your house." Kian mumbled, gesturing down at my outfit. May I say, I just realized that I had yesterday's outfit on. His hair was gelled up into a quiff, looking adorable.

After we had drove down to my house, I had changed into a green and blue flannel dress with a long sleeve white under shirt, a pair of light leggings underneath the dress and my combat boots that I seem to be wearing more often laced on my feet. I threw a black beanie over my blue bedhead hair because I didn't feel like brushing through, and we headed out the house with me trailing slowly behind Kian since I was crying a bit.

"C'mon, let's go out today, have some fun... Don't worry about your problems right now," he said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and hinting towards my 'wanting to die' problem.

I nodded, and dawdled to his car. I pulled on the handle and buckled myself up in the seat after slamming the door shut. He started the car and put a Never Shout Never CD in the disk drive, so it wasn't completely silent in the car. I hummed along to the song, trying to forget about my worries, but I couldn't help it and mother still wasn't here, I still wasn't use to being alone, thrown out into the real world.