𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋 || 𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐰𝐨𝐨

열일곱

NOT EDITED!
❦

     The coldness of the ice melting down my back, the freezing water that dampened my body from my head to my feet. Soaked with what was water and fish sauce, I let my head hang low. Their laughter erupting from their mouths out of my own pain. My chest panted heavily. They locked me up in the janitors closet. Reeking if their feces and unknown stenches they soaked me in.

—I wanted to die. The humiliation of being someone's punching bag, someone's cooking pot. The bullying kept getting worse. I could even remember the time I laid on the cement, blood along my face and the sound and smell of urine being spilled on me. They used me as a fucking urinal. I hate this place more than I thought. People are scary. This taught me more than anything that people are disgusting. It would be better to just not feel anything at all. Yet I'm still here waiting. Proving day by day how much of a fool I am.

☏☏☏

w a r n i n g ; slight graphic, 16+,, scroll down til next warning if you want to skip. 💕

His lips merging with yours, you couldn't find it in yourself to pull back either. It was addicting. Your eyes shutting as you let your lips dance with his. Your hand going up to tangle them in his hair while you dragged his face closer to yours. You had loved his lips. Your hands and fingers dancing along with his jaw while your thumb rubbed small circles on his cheek. His hands were quick to wrap around your face as soon as you gave in. Using one hand to balance himself on your waist, he had used his other one to cup the side of your ear. You were truly beautiful.

Who would've thought that you and Wonwoo would've been doing something like this in his car. The feeling of anger and hatred was drowning with every passing second as your lips merged. What happened to grow upon this moment was lust and the feeling of wanting to be closer. So taking the opportunity, you climbed over to his spot, sitting yourself on his lap. Though he was shocked, he pulled away to look at you. You were no straddling him. A smile on his face while he stared up at you. He pushed your hair behind your ear. "You're so fucking beautiful."

     He pulled you in by your waist. His hands hugging around you as his lips went in to attack the skin in your neck. His lips kissing your collarbones, leaving a trail everywhere as times he'd leave nibbles on you. Breathy moans would leave your mouth while you tangled your hands in his hair while you swayed your hips on him. He was growing underneath you. You both could feel it, you both wanted it. Yet something struck him. As soon as you started moaning his name he had froze.

     Wonwoo had froze in his spot after that intimate moment. You had said his name. He wasn't going to lie, it definitely turned him on even more, if it weren't for reality. They were too caught up in the moment. He pulled back for a second, staring at you. You, who were panting, still moving against him as his hands laid on your waist. He firmed his hands on your hips, stopping your movement. Only then did reality hit you. He was hard, and you were grinding against him.

e n d !

     "We can't be doing this. This was a mistake—" Wonwoo had shook his head. He didn't want to admit that he enjoyed that moment with you. That that moment felt right to him. He wanted to continue to tell the truth, but he wasn't going to. It wasn't right. He knew you'd regret it, and he wouldn't do that to you. Having sex with someone could result in feelings being involved or developed, which could lead to heartbreak. He wasn't sure on which side heartbreak could develop on either.

     You froze in your spot. You agreed. This was a mistake, yet why did it hurt? It hurt hearing those words come out of his mouth, being told straight to your face that this was a mistake. You didn't completely think it was a mistake, the only mistake here was your feelings. This burning in your chest that yearned for him. A lingering attachment to him even from highschool. "Y-yeah— you're right. This is a mistake."

     You quickly pulled yourself off of his lap, sitting down in the passengers seat. You didn't even want to glance at him, you were embarrassed and ashamed. Tucking your hair behind your ears and licking your now plump lips. You could feel his eyes staring daggers into you. He was as watching you, wondering what you were thinking right now. Even though he had said it first, that this was a mistake, a part of him was hurt about how you agreed. Selfish, he knew. He was the one to speak first. He covered his mouth with his hand. Ignoring the pain in his pants and the pain in his chest. He was at a loss for words, it was so awkward. "...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that— but you know, what I mean, right?"

     "Yeah, I understand." You understood. You understood that no matter what Wonwoo will hurt you in the end. Realization had hit you afterwords. You will always remember Wonwoo, this lingering attachment, this small part of your heart will always be with him and that's what you hate. You hate it so fucking much. "You're right. This was a mistake. A huge mistake..."
     —You had paused. Turning your head towards him. Your face was stone cold. Staring at him with no emotion. Your face held firm. "I'm glad you stopped something I'd definitely regret doing— I mean I still regret."

     Bang. Straight to his heart. It hurt. You saying straight to his face that you regret it. It hurt like hell, but what was he expecting? Was he expecting you to say that you didn't regret it? That you didn't think it was a mistake? That maybe you had developed feelings for him? No. He wasn't expecting that.
     —but he was hoping you'd say something along those lines.

     You turned your head, staring out the window of his car. After a few awkward seconds, you picked up your white purse that fell on the floor of his car. Pulling the door handle and pushing it open. Before rain could shower on your skin, Wonwoos hand had flew to your wrist, grabbing it gently. "W-wait— where are you going? I can drive you home—"

     "No. I don't want you to." You had your voice firm, your eyes avoiding his as you looked down at the spitting rain that crashed against your black heels. "Please let me go. Its not because if you, but I feel disgusted right now. I'll find my own way home... I'll see you at work on Monday."

     Forcefully pulling you hand from his, you stepped out into the rain before shutting his car door gently. Turning on your heels before leaving him along to question what had just happened.