𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋 || 𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐰𝐨𝐨

스물다섯

NOT EDITED!
TW; Suicide
❦

     It's been a week since the incident. I'm sitting here in a room alone I guess they trust me enough now to let me be by myself. Well not too much trust since there's a camera in here. My parents are more less disappointed then shocked. It's upsetting when you find out your daughter tried to kill themselves for the second time that they're more worried about their hospital bills then their daughters mental state. What could honestly be more concerning then their own child's life?

     I had thought maybe if I had jumped off the roof, maybe that'll make people see that their actions have consequences. That things they say, do  and ignore can cause people immense pain. Like you, Jeon Wonwoo. I had watched you. You and Jihoon and both stared up at me before turning around and walking in the opposite direction. I had thought in that moment, what if I did it right there. What if I jump right now. I wanted to traumatize every single one of you just as you had done me, traumatize you and make you think about what you had done. Yet here I am. As soon as both of my feet had left the edge, my body dangled from the roof as a single person held my wrist pulling me up from what could've been a tragic death.

     All I'll say now is... I wish they didn't help me.

☏☏☏

Wonwoo had followed you up all the stairs until you both reached the roof top. The cold breeze hitting against your exposed legs. You had ran out to look at the stars above the city. You could hear the traffic or the cars. You had your arms spread out while you took in a whiff of the beautiful clean air as you sighed it out. Letting your arms fall limp to your sides while you turned around and stared at him. Your head tilting as you sent a fake smile in his direction. "Isn't it beautiful? The city lights and stars! You. An see Han bridge from over here—"

"Yeah, we can. It's very beautiful." Wonwoo had not taken his eyes off of you as you stared out towards the city. The cold breeze hitting against you, sending a shiver up your arms and goosebumps down your spine. Wonwoo quickly took of his jacket as he walked closer to you, placing it on your shoulders. You had fantasized this as a student. Wonwoo doing this for you as you guys walked home together late after secondary school. "You're beautiful as well."

You shook your head and ticked you tongue. You stepped away from Wonwoo, standing closer to the edge, holding onto the thick brick railing that separated you and falling. "I'm talking about the view. Isn't it just beautiful? Doesn't it just... make you want to reach out and grab it—"

You laughed before sitting up on the railing. Wonwoos eyes had widened immediately as he reached his hand out to grab you out of worry. "What the fuck! Are you insane!"

You laughed shaking your head before crossing your legs over one another, staring at him. You looked behind you and looked down. "Wow, that really is far. I'm surprised they didn't put a cage up here yet—"

"Y/N, get down from there. If you're trying to freak me out, it's working. Get down." Wonwoo gulped, looking between you and the railing you were sitting upon. He didn't have to look to see how far up you both were. He had been on this roof before, he knows. You shook your head before crossing your both of your legs, folding your hands in your lap.

"Why're you acting so scared, Wonwoo? I've been up here before— You saw me up here before." You smiled at him. You started nodding your head to yourself before lifting up you pointer finger, as if you had an idea. "Except, I wasn't sitting... I was standing.
—shall I remind you?"

You laughed before standing to your feet, sticking your hands out to balance yourself, you started laughing as Wonwoo was pulling his hair out from his scalp. "You're crazy. Get down, please. I'm begging you
—Y/N please get down!"

You stayed quiet for a few seconds before turning around to the field of the school. You lifted your finger and pointed to one spot amongst the green field of grass. "You were standing there. One glance up and once glance away. Your back turned towards me as you left the school."

You paused, dragging your bottom lip between your teeth, chomping down to suppress the urge to cry and yell. "I was right here, in front of everyone— I was seriously about to jump. I was so fucking close. You and your friends turning around was my breaking point. If it weren't for you all, if it wasn't for you, would I be like this? Would I hate myself as much as I do— those were the thoughts I had in my head at that time. Childish, wasn't I? I put all the blame on you because it was easy..."

You laughed and turned around, looking at him. The wind playing with your hair as it pushed its way. As scary as this situation was for Wonwoo, you looked so heavenly standing there with the stars shined behind you, the way the moonlight kissed your skin, the breeze dancing with each strand of your hair. You looked like an angel who had broken its wings. Still, you weren't an angel. You were a human. A human standing on the edge of building, smiling down at him as if nothing was happening. "It's okay! It's fine, blame me, hate me, but please... just step down from the railing."

"I'm not finished Wonwoo— please just listen for a moment." You paused your smile disappearing from your lips as you looked at him. He gulped, shutting his lips as his whole body tensed up because of you. "I blamed you for everything— I understand that it was wrong, yet I still did it. I still do it. Though you have a part in it, so does everyone else. The only issue I have now, is that you all don't remember. I had forgotten everything. But as soon as I saw you in that elevator, and you so you didn't remember me— my dear and hatred flamed up. So tell me, Wonwoo... how could your friend remember me, when you don't?"

"I'm sorry—"

"Does this remind you of anything? Me being up here? If not maybe this?" You asked, stepping backwards slightly, so you're standing right near the edge. Wonwoo had sweat dripping from his forehead.

"Fuck! Fine! I remember bits of it okay? I don't remember everything! I'm sorry I don't remember you, but somethings are becoming clear! I'm sorry for forgetting, I'm sorry for only realizing things til right now! Please for the love of god get down!" Wonwoo had shouted, his voice was trembling as he stared at you. He had shut his eyes, fearing the worse. You knew you were pushing it standing up there.

You paused before turning around and looking back out towards the city. Soon bending your legs and sitting down, letting your legs dangle over the edge. "You don't have to worry about anything, Wonwoo. I'm not going to jump or anything. I had already tried that once, why try it again?"

You sat there silently. Soon feeling a tug around your waist and shoulders. As soon as you had your back turned towards him, he quickly walked towards you, wrapping his arms over you and around your waist before pulling your dangling legs back over the roof top. You fell into his chest as he sat there squeezing you tightly into him. You could feel his arms shaking and trembling. He rested his forehead onto your shoulder as he huffed out a trembling whisper. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Y/N?"

"Everything."