Tell Me How To Be Like You (Zarry)

"That's my birthmark"

Zayn tried his best not to move the bed too much or make a sound while he was hugging Harry to his chest. He buried his nose in Harry's curly hair. "I missed you." he put a peck on his head and got comfortable on the bed.

Aright so Harry was in desperate need of a shower, but at that moment Zayn didn't care. He held on to Harry as tight as he could. It was obvious that Harry woke up but he couldn't talk he just let Zayn hold him he let himself drown in the smell of his cologne.

Harry pulled his knees towards his chest to make himself as small as he could to fit in Zayn's embrace. He was shaking a little and Zayn felt like this hug was not working like it used to, it wasn't calming Harry like it was supposed to.

"How do you feel about a bath?" Zayn whispered. It took Harry a couple of seconds to nod his head no. he didn't want Zayn to leave him. "You don't want a warm bath? I can join too." Zayn tried to make the offer sound more pleasing. Harry closed his eyes when Zayn put another peck on his head.

Silence. Zayn took that as a yes. He knew Harry didn't want him to leave. So he helped Harry to sit up and put the blanket over his shoulders to walk him to the bathroom. Harry watched as Zayn filled the tube with hot water and dropped Harry's favorite bath bomb into it too.

"Alright, let's get in," Zayn whispered with a smile. He helped Harry in first then he sat in front of him, each leg on either side of Harry's hips. Staring at the boy he fell in love with when he was just a child, he couldn't feel the butterflies anymore. And that made him angry with himself because he knew deep down that he was responsible for what was happening to Harry right now.

And he didn't need the guilt. Not now.

So instead of saying anything, he just pure water over Harry's curly hair to wash him.

All Harry did was watch Zayn as he cleaned both of them, he refused to move a single muscle to help till they had to get out of the tube, that's when Harry moved because he knew Zayn couldn't possibly carry him out and he didn't want Zayn to hurt his back.

"Alright, I'll make something for us to eat, and then you'll take your meds. How does that sound?" Zayn said sweetly while brushing Harry's hair with a comb he found on his nightstand.

Harry shook his head no. "Why not? Are you not hungry? I can make anything you want."

"No meds," Harry said casually. He just laid back on his bed.

"You need them, Harry."

Again Harry shook his head, he was trying his best to stop his tears from falling on his cheeks. With wobbly lips, he tried to explain. "They won't let me feel."

A sigh left Zayn's lips. He knew about the side effects; he lay next to Harry again. "Feel what?" He asked while brushing Harry's hair with his fingers. He thought maybe talking about the 'Feelings' would help Harry a little.

"This." Harry moved on top of Zayn for a kiss.

Zayn had to close his eyes when he felt Harry's rough lips on his. It's been too long. He almost couldn't remember how it felt to do it with Harry.

But the thing is, Harry wasn't strong enough to keep himself steady for long enough so he lay next to Zayn again, staring at the ceiling with a heavy sigh.

"I've got you," Zayn mumbled and put his right hand on the side of Harry's face to look him in the eyes for the next kiss.

Harry felt cold as ice when he let Zayn take control of their bodies. He felt the weight he was carrying for so long was finally off his shoulders when Zayn kissed him like it was all the same again. He let his hands wander all over Zayn's body to pull him even closer like he was afraid that if he let go, Zayn would just disappear.

Zayn moved on top of Harry, not breaking the kiss but he was thinking, was Harry strong enough to have sex right now? Probably not. So instead, he decided to just give him some pleasure to help him feel again.

Even though Harry whined when Zayn broke the kiss, Zayn shushed him and pulled his sweat pants down, "Shh, I'm not leaving. I'm here." He assured Harry with small kisses he planted on his thighs. Harry was tense. His whole body was taut but Zayn could see that he was trying to relax and enjoy the treatment. But somehow he was scared, he knew when the high stopped Zayn would be gone again.

Those thoughts faded the second Zayn put him in his mouth, and God! Zayn knew how to work him to absolute madness.

And for the first time that day, Harry said something with feelings behind it, "Slow down." He whispered. He didn't want the feeling to end too soon. But Zayn had other plans. He worked him to the edge, to the point when Harry thought his body would explode and at that very moment he slowed down as Harry asked him to.

Zayn held Harry's right hand in his, letting him grip his hand as hard as he wanted to.

"Please-" Harry choked on his words. Zayn was going painfully slow. Harry could feel his heartbeat going boom boom in his ribcage and it hurt, "Please. It hurts!" he was on verge of tears when Zayn stopped completely only to come back up for a kiss. He wanted to finish Harry with his hand only to watch him when he reached his high.

Harry's jaw fell open when he came in Zayn's fist who planted a brief kiss on his lips again and waited for Harry to calm down a little to go find a cloth to clean him up.

"What happened? What's this scar?" Zayn found a little bruise mark on Harry's thigh and as far as knew he didn't cause that.

A frown formed on Harry's forehead, "That's my birthmark. You've seen it before."

"Oh... Right. so, lunch?" he forgot Harry had that. But it happens right? It's not like he forgot the color of Harry's eyes. It didn't mean anything.

Not to Harry, it meant a lot to him. Zayn was forgetting the details. "Anything you want," Harry answered briefly.

"Mac and cheese then. I'm dying for a plate right now." And with that, he walked into the kitchen to make his favorite dish. Leaving Harry with his thoughts.

They ate mostly in silence. Every now and then Zayn would talk about his songs and the new people he saw. Harry just loved hearing him talk so he didn't say anything, he just listened.

"You are leaving?" Harry's heart dropped when he saw Zayn getting ready to go. "But you brought a suitcase." He tried to reason, why bring a suitcase when you are not gonna stay?

"I thought I would need to stay but you are okay! So I wanna stay a night with my parents. Haven't seen them for a long time." Zayn cheered. "You are okay. Right?" Zayn thought he looked better, he ate all of his food!

"Yeah don't worry." Harry smiled.

"Just take your meds and I'll be on my way." Zayn brought a glass of water and his meds and waited for Harry to take them.

Harry took the dose he needed and showed his empty mouth to Zayn.

"Call me when you get there? And tell Trisha I said hi." Harry hugged Zayn before opening the door for him.

"Call me if you needed anything, yea?" Zayn kissed Harry on his cheek and left.

Again. Quiet apartment with him and his thoughts alone. His brain reminded him about his plan of not needing the pills anymore so he did the only logical thing. He sat in front of the toilet and forced the food and pills up. Not the most pleasant tactic but he didn't want to take the pills anymore. He was okay.

Well, at least he thought he was.

But he probably needed those mood stabilizers. Cause the next thing he did was too reckless.

He sent a text to Mr. Novak.

"I quit." 

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Hey lovely readers!

this chapter was so tricky to write to be honest, let me know what you think about it!

love you all!