Patsy (the victim)

44

Bilal pov

zahra!"
Zahra!!"I call opening the parlour door.

"Mama."I say picking the little girl as i place a kiss on her forehead, I love my daughter.

"Zahra'u!"I can but the only answer i get is the reply from my echo.

I check the kitchen and she's not there, I sigh and begin walking up the stairs she's probably sleeping, I knock on her bedroom door but there's no answer , knowing zahra'u very well she's not a heavy sleeper, I push the door open and turn on the light.

"Zah..... I pause at the sight and quickly drop my daughter on the floor before crawling to where she's laying down on the floor.

"Zahra'u!"I call shaking her lifeless body that's on the floor, I grab the bottle next to the bed and sniff it.

"Poison?"I say confused and quickly lift her up, I rush out of the bedroom taking the stairs two at a time and quickly saunter out of the parlour as the elderly driver rush to the porch.

"Subhanallah."he say opening the backdoor for me and I lay her body, I rush back inside and pick my daughter before running out like a crazy maniac with a rapidly beating heart.

"I'm coming!"I yell dropping mama on the front seat and run back inside to the bedroom, I grab the bottle and run outside quickly entering the car and urge the driver to drive quick.

I glance at zahra'u on the backseat and i just feel upset, zahra'u want to kill herself because of me, I'm nothing but a grief, maybe i should let her go,
Beside she doesn't deserve someone horrible like me, I glance at mama who's playing with her fingers and release a heavy breathe.
The car maneuver into the hospital premises and i quickly rush inside, the nurses come with the stretcher and zahra'u is load on it before she's wheel inside as i trail behind them with my daughter.

Minutes creep to hours and there is no news about zahra'u, mama have fallen asleep and i just keep glancing at the wall clock ticking, zahra'u can never be happy with me, I know anytime she sees me it remind her of the past, but what can i do that's something i have to deal with on my own, it's my own punishment, all my life i have done nothing but hurt the people that are most dearest to me, if i look back in time how much grief and pain I've caused my mum, I pray someday i find the courage to face her, Sorry i know will not be enough to erased the pain I've put her through, I'm a punish than a blessing as a son.

"Bilal."the doctor call and i look up.

"Your wife is stable for now,
Can you come with me to the office?"he ask and i nod.

I hand sleeping mama to the old driver and follow the doctor to his office.

"Your wife did took the poison but.......he say with a sigh sitting on the chair behind the desk.

"Your wife hasn't been taking her medication, her body is reacting badly to it, if care is not taken she will need a liver transplant and.....she will have to take her daily medication, I know it's difficult for her, most peoplee with AIDs find it difficult to accept the change but with help from family members she will be fine."he say and i sigh with a face palm.

"Thank you doctor,
Is she okay now?"I ask and he nod.

"Yes,
She will be conscious anytime."he say and we exchange handshake before i exit the office.

How can I even speak to zahra'u about such sensitive topic, I follow the nurse to the room and she open it for me, zahra'u is laying on the bed ,she have an oxygen place on her nose, it really hurt me knowing I'm responsible for her been in this situation, if zahra'u can attempt suicide then surely someday she will take her own life which is something I'm not looking forward to.

********************

For zahra'u waking up and seeing herself in the four wall of the hospital room make her realises that attempting to take her own life is never the answer, sure Bilal brutally traumatize her but then knowing that her daughter won't have to grow up wondering who her father is like she does everyday maybe that alone is worth living for.

"Zahra'u."the familiar voice call and she flutter her eyes open.

She glance at Bilal and there daughter then avert her gaze, why is it so difficult to give a second chance, she doesn't want to be selfish but she believe her life would have been perfect with bashir than Bilal.

"If you want i can divorce you."Bilal say because no matter how he love zahra'u it's better her losses her to someone else than Lossing her to death, that will only add to his guilt.

Zahra'u remove the white rubber from her nose and wipe the tears streaming down her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"I just want to be alone."she say with her gaze on the wall.

Bilal stare at her for a while before dropping mama on the bed and leave the hospital room.

"Mama."zahra'u say turning and hug her daughter, it was easy for her to accept Bilal knowing bashir was death but now that she sees bashir, she just find it difficult to give Bilal a second chance, she is aware of how hard Bilal is trying to make there relationship work but she just find it difficult to let go, if she can she will wipe off all the memories of that night in her head, zahra'u sigh and stare at mama with a heavy breathe.

***********************
Two months later

As the months past zahra'u try as much as she can to give Bilal a chance, she avoid staying all by herself that way she won't start any negative thinking and bilal try his best to spend as much quality time as he can.

"I never understand why she always sleep after dialysis, you will stop by that Supermarket i want to get somethings."zahra'u say as she put mama in her car seat.

"Okay,
I was thinking we should eat dinner out today."Bilal say with a smile and zahra'u shrug.

"Saves me more strength."she say bas they both climb the car.

"But still stop by the supermarket, I want to buy something."zahra'u say and bilal chuckle.

The two make random conversation mostly about mama's improved health as the doctor say, once at the supermarket Bilal decide to wait in the car and zahra'u saunter inside.

Ever since he saw zahra'u, bashir has been having a recurrent flashback, but anytime he try hard to remember something his head feel like exploding, sure enough he knows something is missing in his life and zahra'u is the only one that can give that answer to him, waiting patiently for his wife by one of the shopping aisle he spot the familiar face entering the supermarket, suddenly he feel his heartbeat palpitating, with each steps she takes he feel like his head is going to exploding, there's a loud screech that makes him use his hands to close his ears and he fall unconscious on the supermarket floor.

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