Infinite For Me║N.H.

25-ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ

𝑵𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒆'𝒔 𝑷.𝑶.𝑽:

"What do you mean it's not your place to tell? That's our friend there", Louis threw his hands in the air, visibly frustrated.

"I don't want to be on your bad side, but I can't go against him Lou, he trusts me", I tried to make him understand. "But I'll try to make him tell you all. Try to reason it."

He took a deep breath and nodded, sitting down on the couch.

I sighed and looked at him. "Louis, you know I don't want to upset you, but I'm not telling his private things to you without permission, I'm not going to go and break the bond", I mumbled.

"I know", he nodded after a short silence. "I'm sorry. I should be thanking you, for taking care of him when he can't trust us enough to tell." He bit his lip and fumbled with his hands on his lap.

"He does trust you, just..."

"Just not enough."

"Not that, just, I think it's at least partly the guilt", I tried explaining something I wasn't even myself 100% sure about, without actually blurting out what was going on.

"Isn't it us that should be feeling guilty though? We noticed fucking-", he lowered his risen voice. "Fucking nothing. Fuck, the thing I was worried about was what kind of socks I should be wearing with my Vans' so I wouldn't get a blister like last time", he shook his head, laughing humorlessly.

"Not really. I think he feels like he'd let y'all down, like he... doesn't have the right to be not okay with the kind of lifestyle you guys have. And by denying it - by keeping low - it doesn't affect anyone else's life but his own." I looked at the direction of the bunks I knew he was sleeping in. "At least, not until now", I spoke quieter. "I know that's not true, but it's what his mind feeds him with, I think."

He was silent after that.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I opened it, looking at the message.

From: Nialler<3: Where are you?

I stood up from the couch and walked up to the bunks. "Ni?"

"Yeah?" the bit hoarse voice of his spoke up.

I opened his curtain and saw him immediately sitting up. I smiled at his half-asleep state, his blond hair all messy, eyes and lips a little puffy. The sweatshirt was almost drowning him, his fingers just barely visible from the sleeves, and he looked cuddly. And perfect.

A sudden, strong urge to kiss him washed over me and I crawled next to him, throwing my arms over his shoulders, and kissed him quickly. I felt him answering the kiss right away, putting every inch of energy he'd managed to claim from sleeping into it. And it felt perfect, I felt perfect.

Everything might not be perfect right now, but I'm hopeful it will be. With time.

"Are the others here now?" His voice sounded a bit rough, and he cleared his throat before speaking up again. "I have no idea how long I was asleep." He searched for his phone and found it from under his pillow. "It's eight already?"

"Yeah. And everyone else but Liam is, I don't know where he went." I brushed back some of the hairs on his forehead, which caused him to smile slightly. I wanted to ask him if he was feeling better, but the words got caught somewhere in my throat. Either it was the fear of the answer being negative or me not wanting to annoy him with my constant questions, I'm not sure. "Do you need anything?"

"You-"

"Anything I can get you before I settle down here with you, I mean", I laughed looking down.

He took my hand and pulled so that I fell down, half on top of him. "No. Never need anything else than you", he mumbled, eyes almost closed.