Infinite For Me║N.H.

20-ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʀʏ

\\ A/N: this chapter contains a little bit of talking about r@pe and cutting. DO NOT READ IF THAT MIGHT TRIGGER YOU PLEASE \\

𝑵𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒆'𝒔 𝑷.𝑶.𝑽:

"Have you ever been to Sweden?" he asked and kissed my head.

"No I haven't", I lifted my gaze from where it had been on his fingers I'd played with.

My family has never been one to travel a lot. It's not that we couldn't afford it, it's just that my parents preferred being home and working. I've been to Florida once but that's mostly it.

"I've been nowhere really. Outside of the USA. Boring huh?"

"We can fix that then", he smiled and kissed me before loosening his grip on me and relaxing his head down against the pillows.

I lifted my upper body to lean on my elbows as I hovered over his face, without him noticing with his eyes closed.

"What happened in São Paulo's airport?" I whispered carefully. His eyes shot open.

"What?" he choked out.

"Don't blame Zayn", I quickly defended. "Please don't. He thought you had told me and mentioned something and then I tried to get it out of him but he wouldn't budge."

He wiped a hand down his face. "It's nothing-"

"Baby please", I brushed his nose with mine.

He sighed. "I went to the bathroom and there was a man who would've wanted to fuck me. That's it."

Oh my god

I gasped quietly. "Ni that's- I don't even know-"

"Hey relax. I'm kinda over it, doesn't matter", he looked at me.

"Don't say that, it does." I'm so angry at that man but I'm trying not to show it. Who the fuck does he think he is? He deserves being put in jail for that. "What did he do? Tell me he didn't get to do anything-"

"He, uhm, he grabbed my waist and..." He gulped, showing that he in fact wasn't as 'over it' as he said. "And he pushed me against the wall and stuff. Tried to get me to join him in one of the stalls for some 'fun'. I kneed him in the balls and got away. Savage."

I looked at his face closely but he broke the eye contact. I put my arms around him and squeezed him tightly, trying to comfort him even a little.

"I'm so sorry", I whispered.

He didn't answer, but after a few moments his body shook slightly in my arms. I lifted my head from his chest and took a look at him, only to notice the silent tears streaming down his face.

I'm so so fucking sorry baby

You didn't deserve that

I wiped his cheeks under his eyes with my thumb gently, but they soon got wet again.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine", he nodded.

No you aren't

"You don't have to lie", I whispered quietly.

He just shook his head and buried it under my chin, hugging me as we lay down.

"You haven't told anyone that have you?" I guessed.

"No- Well Zayn knows yeah."

There are two kinds of bad things that people have on their minds; the ones they want to share with others to get help or advice, and the ones they talk to nobody about. Those are the ones that are bad enough that they don't even know how to tell people about it, or they don't want to bother others. I don't know which one it was in this case, but I'm glad Niall told me. I mean, I absolutely understand it must be a hard thing to talk about, but it's important to share it and not drown in silence, alone. These things are heavy subjects, whether it ended up in sex or harassment and violence. Or even worse, both. I'm relieved as hell that in Niall's case he got away with only the latter.