Infinite For Me║N.H.

10-ꜰᴜɴᴇʀᴀʟ

𝑵𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍'𝒔 𝑷.𝑶.𝑽:

"What do you mean I can't have the weekend free?" I half-shouted into the phone, growing frustrated.

"I mean just that. This is your career, Horan, and you can't throw it away."

"I'm not fucking throwing it away! All I'm asking for is two days off starting from tomorrow and it's kinda an emergency!" I was starting to feel the tears forming.

"Well you have to understand that I can't let you do that. If you skip your meeting with the fans, they start to ask questions, and when they don't get answers, the hate will step in. And guess who has to handle that? Us, Modest!"

"So you are saying that I don't have any handling when I get hate and it's you who suffers from it?"

"I mean that's the truth. But to the point here, you all, and I mean all, five have to attend the meeting on Saturday. End of talk."

"You're not stopping me from going to my own grandma's funeral. I'm going, fuck it. The fans have the other four there for them, isn't that all they want? You yourself have said many times how they don't care about me, this time it should be a good thing, huh?"

He ended the call.

I screamed frustrated, while trying to stop the tears. You're acting like a baby Niall, you can't cry over this, fucking unworthy shit

For the last few days I've been trying to fight the urge to cut again. I don't want to break my promises, but let me tell you, it's so fucking hard not to. And it's even more fucking harder knowing that the urge is back. I wasn't missing it.

AT 19:27PM:

"Hey lads, I'll be leaving tomorrow to stay a few days in Ireland."

"Wait what? Oh do you have the uh.."

"Yes I'm going to the funeral. That word isn't poison even if it feels like it, you can say it in front of me."

"umm, right. So when are you leaving?"

"Early morning, around six o'clock. You won't be up so, bye now."

"So you'll skip the meeting?"

"Yeah I mean I don't want to and Modest! doesn't want me to but I don't have any other options. I'm going to sleep now. See you on Monday I think."

"Yeah we understand. Bye Niall, be safe and remember, you are allowed to cry. And we love you. Good night."

"Thanks, night."

I sighed and went to bed after changing my clothes and setting my alarm for 4:30am.

AT 4:30AM:

I woke up to the alarm, which was coming from under my pillow on a low volume so that the others won't wake up.

I tried to keep my eyes open while I went to the shower, washed my teeth, put on gray pants and the blue hoodie I bought with Natalie, grabbed my things and quietly left the room.

From: Me: morning mom, I'm leaving now to the airport, see you <3

I slept for the whole flight since I had to wake up so early, and woke up when the plane started landing.

From: Mom<3: Good, I'll be here waiting for you to arrive x

𝑴𝒂𝒖𝒓𝒂'𝒔 𝑷.𝑶.𝑽:

Only when I saw my blonde boy walking towards me from the crowd, I realized how much I had missed him. This isn't the most optimal reason for seeing him again, though.