the lonely boy

chapter 23

Is this what it feels like to have a home?

Louis' pov

It's been a few days since I've been home and don't get me wrong I love being back but I feel like such a bother to the guys' lives, one is always home with me and I can see how stressed they are with their work yet they all come home as early as possible and then also take care of me.

I also haven't been sleeping great, the first two nights all the guys stayed with me but I don't want them to give up their relationship and privacy for me so I told them that I would be ok sleeping on my own but the truth is that I haven't been able to sleep at all, as soon as I close my eyes the nightmares hit and they feel so real. It's so scary.

So I haven't slept for 2 nights now, scared that my screaming and crying might wake one of the guys up from their sleep.

Right now I'm sitting in the corner of my room on the floor, a place where I can see my whole room, it makes me feel safe like nothing or no one can hurt me.

A knock on the door makes me jump, my heart rate spikes as I watch the door open slowly, panic running through my veins. Niall's face pops up as the door fully opens making me breath out in relief but the slight shaking of my body hasn't lessened yet which seems normal lately, I'm always shaking lately.

"Hey Lou buddy! I came to see you, I'm quite lonely on my own downstairs... would you maybe like to join me?" Today is Niall's day to look after me, I really like Niall, he's really sweet and overall just soft.

I shrug at Niall's words "I guess." I whisper softly, I watch as Niall walks further into the room. My eyes widen as he sits down in front of me making my body shake even more because he's blocking part of my view, now I won't know if he's here to hurt me!

Niall's brows furrow as he watches me "Lou? You know that you can always talk to us right?"

I nod and bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from crying, why can't I just handle this myself? I've always had to do stuff on my own, I need to be able to do this as well! I can't bother them with this small issue! They might think that I'm weak and stupid and kick me out and I don't want to be lonely anymore.

"Buddy, this isn't healthy. I can see how much you are struggling and I want to help you and the others do too. We want to see you not scared anymore, we want you to smile and be happy and know that you are save with us."

I stare at him in disbelieve, not saying anything making him huff slightly before he starts talking again.

"We were so scared when you were gone, we thought that we failed you and we did, we should have been more open towards you about what was happening, it was our fault that you got taken. And when we found that body that we believed to be yours it felt like our lives were over. We all thought that you were gone apart from Harry, he had promised to make you happy and to give you the love that you deserved so he wasn't ready to let go yet because he never breaks a promise and he wasn't going to break this one either and deep down that gave us hope that we would be able to give you just that.

Harry never gave up on you so please don't give up on yourself, we really want to help you and I know that you think that you are a bother to us but we love you and we care about you and we will make sure that Harry doesn't break his promise because you are worth it."

Tears trickle down my face once Niall is done talking.

"I will do it." I whisper out in a raspy voice from the lump that has formed in my throat.

Niall tilts his head slightly in confusion "You will do what?"

"I will get better, I will go see a therapist." Niall smiles at me and gently wraps his arms around me "I'm so proud of you Louis, I'm so proud that you have taking this decision and believe me it will help and if you don't feel comfortable you are able to stop at any time."

I smile softly while burying my face in Niall's shoulder "Thank you for caring."

For the first time in days I notice that the shaking has lessened immensely "Will you please stay with me? I-I can't sleep when I'm alone, I'm scared." I mumble into Niall's shoulder in a hesitant matter.

"Of course I will stay buddy, I will do everything for you. I'm glad that you told us, you can always sleep in our room if that makes you feel safer." Niall stands up from the ground with me still in his arms and he gently lays me down in my bed and lays down next to me and wraps a protective arm around me "I will keep you safe." He says in a soft voice and kisses my forehead.

Sleep takes me over while Niall rubs my back and hums a song making me feel at peace and safe.

Well well well! That's a new chapter!!! I know that it's slightly shorter than normal but it's really good if you ask me.

~~~Renée