22. To-Do List.

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Samantha

"Hello, Mrs. Chambers. Just you today?" The nurse behind the desk asks, handing Sam the check in clipboard and a pen with a fake flower at the end of it.

"Hi. Yes. Just me. Thanks." Sam writes her name. Her hand hesitates when she starts to write the first letter of her husband's family name. She scribbles it out so it's barely legible. "How's he been?"

"Same as always."

"And how about Mom? Was she here earlier?" She always hopes the answer is no. Hopes that the day will finally come when Mom accepts reality and moves on.

"She just left for the day." The nurse confirms.

Of course she did. It's why Sam showed up at this time specifically. Henry is at his old office today packing things up. He doesn't know she's here. Not that he demands to know her every move. He trusts her. He's left her with the keys to all the cars in the garage, she's free to come and go as she pleases.

She's dressed in a red sundress, her long brown hair held up by a matching red ribbon, and a pair of white heels. She thought about dressing inconspicuously, coming here in disguise but she thought better of it. She's not going to hide anymore. And she's not going to be afraid.

She follows the usual route once she's finished checking in, up the elevator, down so many long halls, past so many sad rooms. She tries not to let it all get to her but she already feels nervous at the scent of disinfectants, at the sounds of the beeping machines. Hospitals are her weakness.

Once she arrives at her father's room, she pumps some hand sanitizer into her hand after she closes the door behind her, placing her purse on one of the chairs there.

It's been seven years and yet the sight of her father like this always makes her whole world stop. Like a current in the ocean that threatens to swallow her whole. She can already feel her nose pricking and her eyes welling with tears. But she's going to try her best to get through this without crying.

"Hi, daddy." She moves to his bed side and takes his cold hand in both of hers.

It's futile talking to him. He's not here. He hasn't ever responded, woken up, or moved. There's been no indication of brain activity. It's been so long and as she gets older, she forgets the sound of his voice more and more.

"I know it's always long between my visits. And lately it's just been getting longer and longer." She looks down at their hands together. "It's really hard for me to come here and see you like this. I hope that doesn't make you upset. I hope you don't think I don't miss you. Because I do every day, daddy. There's been so many times over the last few months that I wished you were here. It's been so hard without you. So much has happened. And I know that if you were here, you'd know what to do. You would make it all better. Although if I'm being honest, if you had been here, none of this probably ever would've happened."

She sniffles. "It hasn't all been bad though. I met a man. He was here with me the last time. I wish you two could've had a proper introduction. Like, maybe I bring him home to you and Mom and you make your spaghetti and meatballs."

This memory makes her smile sadly. Every Friday night, Dad prepared the same dinner each week. She remembers how many times she got bored with it, asked for him to make something different, the times where she thought she could never eat or see another meatball again. Now she would give anything to eat it with him one more time.

"His name is Henry. He is... the most amazing person I've ever met. I'm in love with him, Dad. I love him so much it hurts sometimes. I know you'd like him too. He takes such good care of me. And... I think I want to marry him. I'm ready for us to start our life together."

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