Honest Illusions [niall horan]

Chapter 11

Niall's P.O.V.

Ambiguous messages never failed to befuddle my mind. The intense shade of royal blue was all that my eyes could focus on as my gaze remained transfixed on the last text she had sent me. It had been two days since I had not only finished reading Aubrey's binder, but was aware of her true feelings for me. After contemplating over everything that was revealed to me, I felt a small twinge of remorse. Three years ago, I was so concerned with my pain and heartbreak, that I never actually took the time to consider how she felt.

On the inside, though, I felt the shreds of my torn heart still hanging aimlessly. I knew I couldn't just forgive Aubrey, but there was something that kept pulling me more and more towards her. Analogous to the way a magnet of negative charge attracted one of a positive charger, I felt myself being drawn further back to her. Aubrey's most inner thoughts left this giant imprint on me. And it was for that reason I felt the need to show her that I still cared for her, just as I always have. No matter what, I couldn't erase Aubrey out of my life; she was too extraordinary to forget.

Can we talk in person? Please. I respect your decision if you decline, too.

So god damn polite, just like always. Aubrey hasn't changed one bit, and in a way I saw this as a benefit to me. When I woke up to the message following the night I spent drowned in her words, I felt all the color drain in my face. Unexpected with her sudden want to meet with me, I struggled on a definite decision. Yet, here I was stepping out of the bright yellow taxi onto the familiar and crowded avenues of New York City. In the past two days, I will admit I went back and forth between declining or accepting her invitation about a hundred times.

Tired of fighting and arguing with her, I wanted to avoid any confrontations that could possibly lead to such things. My main goal was to settle things between the two of us. Maybe being civil with each other will settle both the aches in our hearts. Hands stuffed into my coat's pockets, I continued to marvel at the multiple, tall, sleek buildings that towered over me. Sounds of all kinds could be heard just strolling down the sidewalks. Different aromas, ranging from the pizzeria across the street to the sewage pathways beneath me, could be smelt.

Upon reaching the cross path that connected People Magazine HQ to the street I was currently walking on, I tipped my head down lower than usual before making my way across. Hats definitely do come in handy in situations like these. The rim of my cashmere woven hat covered the blonde tips of my hair, while the olive green collars of my jacket kept most of my face hidden away from the public. One a Direction may not be together anymore, but that still didn't mean we weren't being hounded after. Fame was always following us around- not that I minded, but privacy is nice too.

When I entered the lobby, everything in view became instantly familiar. The receptionist was still the same except this time he was too preoccupied talking away on the phone. I managed to casually walk past him without questioning me. Racking my memory real quickly, I tried my best to navigate my way back to Aubrey's office, well floor. As soon as I stepped out of the crowded elevator that took forever (again), I felt a bit of relief wash over me. All of the sophisticated and elegant magazine were plastered up against the walls in the same way they were the first time I had come here.

Nearly two minutes following my admiration of the wall decorations, I found myself walking up to Aubrey's difficult secretary. Her eyes immediately widened as soon as she saw me enter. Today her hair fell against her shoulders, stopping a bit below her shoulders. Some make up seemed to cover her face, making her blue eyes pop out behind her black rimmed glasses.

As much as I wanted to deny it, I had to come face to face with the fact that she held a little bit of Grace's physical features. I hated thinking back so far in my past. Obviously, it was inevitable because at some point I would have to. I just didn't prefer as much as it occurred. Grace was well behind me- has been since the day Aubrey walked into my life. Sure, it took me a while to figure all of that shit out, but Grace left my life for a reason. I just wish she didn't have to leave the way she did.