The Crow

Chapter 36. Deathly Burdens II

8 Hours Before

Harry Potter

Have you ever felt like a bystander in your own life? Not even a participant, just simply observing? Have you ever somehow cried until your veins stung? Until your muscle tore? And your bones cracked under the weight of your own guilt? Your own grief? ...And still feel hollow afterwards?

If you have, I am deeply sorry. But, now you know a portion of the pain I feel.

"Harry..." Ron stood at the foot of the bed. "Come on, mate... please. Just eat something. I brought your favorite. Harry..."

My throat was raw, my vocal chords strung out on a wire. I think I convinced myself I had gone mute. Everyone else was sure of it. What a waste it would be to speak to anyone else, so why speak at all. Why live?

"It's-It's hard for everyone Harry... but we're all trying." His voice cracked like a splint in my side. "Hermione is finally attending classes without choking up every time she sees her empty seat. Neville is taking care of his plants again, tending to the wilted leaves. A- And, I went to practice yesterday Harry... it was hard... but I did it, Harry."

I'd congratulate them if I didn't envy them so. I sat up, locking eyes with an ill expression. Ron was flushed. The cotton irritated his skin every time he wiped his face.

It hasn't even been a fucking week. And I'm supposed to try?

I am fucking trying... I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying.

6 Hours Before

Draco Malfoy

It's cold down here. And dark. Hidden away... once again. Isolated with thoughts I would die for in order to be rid of them. Rain seeps into the walls from the outside. Unfamiliar footsteps walk above me.

Mother made the stone chambers beneath the manor more... comfortable, as she called it. I only needed to hide for a day. When they didn't come looking for me, my mother tried to urge me back into my room. Into proper sheets, warm walls, bright lights.

But the cold wrapped me in the warmest hug I could find. Her shadow follows, watching, talking.

"Why don't you go upstairs now, Draco." She hummed. Her leg brushed mine as she sat next to me, her head on my shoulder.

"No, I can't." My eyes fluttered close, breathing in her scent.

"Why not, my love?"

"Because... Then you'll leave me."

"I would never, ever leave you Draco. I love you." She pressed her forehead against mine, her palm cupping my cheek.

Her warmth cracked through my stone skin. Her heart beat pressed into my body. She was alive.

I dared to open my eyes, praying she hadn't disappeared this time. And there she greeted me with her lovely smile. And I felt the will to live spark again.

As long as I stay in the cold, dark, leaking room... she lives.

5 Hours Before

Harry Potter

Her breath had gone still, and it had stolen my own. I felt my body chip away, my soul, my heart. With every breath she had brought me to life. And now I cannot breathe.

It's so hard to breathe, Neveah.

My notebooks used to be filled with ingredients and stories. But, slowly, she took over every page. And I remember how she'd ask what I found myself so absorbed in between the covers. My nose stuck close as my pen said the words I never did. Oh how I regret not telling you...