That Broken Girl ⇒ Kian Lawley

21

"Who's going? Kian, you know I'm bad with people, why didn't you tell me about this earlier? I would have been able to prepare myself or something, and now I have to meet new people?"

"It's only a few extra people, you know a few of them..."

"Kian, who's going?" I asked through gritted teeth, standing in front of him and pacing uncontrollably.

"Mikey Murphy, Jack Baran, Lauren Elizabeth, Jenn McAllister and... and Andrea Russett."

"Hey guys, you ready to go?" Ricky spoke abruptly, causing me to flinch. I must have zoned out and didn't even realize everyone had arrived from their rooms. I nodded, not daring to meet Kian or anyone's gaze for that matter. I trailed behind the rest of the group, only to bump into someone.

"Oh hey, you're Ryley right?"

"Er, yeah." I replied, looking up at the boy staring at me. He had glasses frames his face, his hair seemed to be untamable as it was brushed in every direction possible, but it didn't look bad on him at all.

"I'm Mikey, I'm sure Kian has told you about me?"

"Oh uh yeah he did."

"Good, that would have been awkward if he hadn't."

"Hey, your last name is Murphy right?"

"Yeah, and yours is McDonough." He clarified.

"Okay, I am calling you by your last name instead of your first, Murphy seems to fit you way better than Mikey."

He laughed, "McDonough fits you better than Ryley, too."

I nodded in agreement before getting into the elevator with the rest of the group. I tried my best to spark conversation between Mikey and I, but it was pointless because my eyes could only stay on the two figures before me, laughing and talking, Kian and Andrea. I've heard of them, seen their videos. I know they're broken up, but that could change at the snap of a finger, then he would forget about me.

"Hey, are you okay? You're breathing fairly heavy." Mikey asked worriedly from beside me.

"Oh... y-yeah. I'm fine, just I... I-I uhm--"

"It's okay, you don't need to explain yourself, just remember to breathe please. I don't want you passing out, that would be bad. If you ever need anything, I'm here for you."

I sent him a reassuring smile before walking out of the elevator with my eyes on Kian. The way Andrea was touching him gave off a flirty feeling, and I felt as though I would throw up the remains in my stomach because my situation is stressing me out. I knew I shouldn't have tried and made a friend this year, why didn't I try harder in pushing him away? Why did I think he actually cared about me, why did I think he was different than everyone else?

Nothing was stopping me from thinking the worst between Kian and Andrea, there was no doubt in my mind that Kian had already forgotten about me. I should have known this would happen anyway, Andrea is too pretty to be passed up by anybody. She has the perfect body, teeth, eyes and I have nothing worth glancing at.

Without looking at Kian and Andrea any further, I darted past everyone in the venue and made it back to my hotel room in pieces. No one came looking for me, in which I was grateful for. Kian probably barely noticed I was gone, I bet he has already gotten back together with Andrea and has forgotten about me completely. He will most likely tell me that him and I can't be friends at all, and he won't even feel bad about it because he now has the perfect girl. How could I have been so vulnerable to let someone in my life?

Tears spilled uncontrollably from my eyes as I entered the bathroom in my hotel room after grabbing the plastic bag from my suitcase. I rummaged through the many things before pulling out a shaver from the mix. I smashed it to the ground and continually stomped on the blades until they popped out of their capsule. I smiled satisfactorily through my tears before running the sharp razor through my left wrist without hesitation. After being clean for three years, I felt terrible to cope this way, but I couldn't stop. My salty tears fell and mixed with the open wounds on my wrist, causing a stinging pain that I laced together a feeling of agony and pain. The thought of seeing Kian with Andrea flashed in my mind and the pressure I held on the blade became stronger as I sliced up my skin with such strength that I could see some white under all the blood. I have never cut this deep, and seeing how bad it looked made me want to hurl. I dropped the blade to the ground, crouching down to the tile floor and closing my eyelids as the tears kept streaming down from my cheeks. I didn't try covering the cuts or stopping the blood, at this point I didn't care in the least bit and I truly hoped Kian was happy with his choices. I wish for him to propose to Andrea after being happily together for so long and most importantly, I hope I bleed out to death on this bathroom floor so I never have to experience the fakeness Kian had given me.

A/N: Okay, so in case you're confused on anything. Andrea was flirting with Kian and Ryley saw that. Ryley was so in love with Kian, yet she didn't know that or want to admit that to anyone at all since she didn't want to ruin hers and Kian's friendship (but she was really jealous of Andrea and Kian together even though her and Kian are just friends). She was so overwhelmed with seeing Kian's ex with him that she started hating herself for letting him in and taking advantage of her heart, so she went back to her old ways and unintentionally attempted suicide.