midnight thoughts

endless blood

may/2/2022, 11:20 PM

my heart bleeds endlessly

the blood pours onto my hands

it reminds me that

no matter how much i try to run

the darkness is still there

slowly eating away my core

until one day there is nothing left

i seek a solution

i come up with one but still ask for help

but whoever i ask seems to have something different in mind

and so my solutions are never correct

this has led me to believe that they all try fixing me

as if i were broken

even though i try convincing myself it's not true

a part of my mind never grew up

and it is scared

perhaps this is why i am always so silent

i hear people say their words of advice

but instead i understand things that are wrong with me

i've never been right once in my life when it comes to myself

i am always wrong

and though i understand that they simply want to help

i don't need it

i just need someone to hold me and say

"they're wrong"

"you're right"

"it's okay"

"you aren't the problem"

"i'm here and i'm proud of you"

"you are not broken and i love you"

i want them to say it even if it's a lie

in reality

i want someone to look at me in the eye

to see deep into my soul

to see all the dark an ugly things

i want someone to see how physically and emotionally flawed i am

i want someone to see all my weaknesses

and choose to love me despite all that

i want someone to choose me

despite all the flaws

a simple request

with no one to receive it