Consequences

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I opened my eyes abruptly and woke up. The dream was gone. I ran my hand over the couch, but no one was there. I rolled over onto my back and covered my face with my hands, moaning softly. Olivia wasn't there, but I could hear the sound of water, which meant she was in the shower.

What did I expect, though, that we would wake up together and she would say "good morning, sweetheart"? Nonsense. She left, apparently not wanting to lie down with me anymore. The sound of the water faded and my heartbeat quickened. It meant seeing Olivia in a few minutes and having to look her in the eye.

I was so afraid of that. What would she say? How would she react? What would happen to us?
The bathroom door opened and Olivia came out, her cheeks a little pink from the hot water.
Honestly, at that moment, I wanted to fall under the ground and I was also very scared. But I didn't think any more as Liv noticed I was awake and stopped dead in my tracks.

There was no point in pretending, she could see my open eyes. I sighed without knowing why, and sat up on the couch. I shifted my gaze to her.

We just looked into each other's eyes and neither of us said a word. And then we turned away. Turned away from each other like we were strangers. I got up from the couch and went to make myself some tea. I stumbled across yesterday's strawberry trail mix in the fridge and only got sad.

Olivia made herself a coffee, and since there was only one table, she had to sit across from me. I stared sullenly into my cup.

"Tell me, are you sorry?" Olivia asked quietly.

I wanted to say no, but there was a lump in my throat, which made me half whisper, "I don't know Liv."

"So what are we going to do? It's stupid to think that after all this, we can still be friends."

Those words stabbed at my heart. Was she...giving up on me? Does she not want to be friends with me anymore?

"Liv...I don't want to lose you, please..."

"We can't be the same" she looked at me like I was a stranger

"No. We can. What happened in this house can stay in this house forever. Just...don't leave me." I felt tears come to my eyes, but Olivia couldn't see it as she was looking at her cup.

"Is that what you want? For everything to stay here and we forget everything?"

I guess the tension was too high, maybe the fact that I could hear my own heart in my ears was a bad sign. But a veil of tears filled my eyes, making everything blurry, and I stood up abruptly from the table myself.

I couldn't say anything,feeling the lump in my throat that didnt let me talk,and practically knocking over the cup in tears I ran out of the house.I ran forward and I wanted to scream from the terrible pain inside me, to scream for the whole world to hear what I was going through.
Eventually by the water, I just fell to my knees and started sobbing. I sobbed hysterically, my tears flowing without end. I didn't even know why? Why did it hurt so much? Why did I hoped to kiss Olivia again? Why idea of pretending nothing happened hurted me so much?

I ran out in my pajama pants and a short-sleeved T-shirt, and there was a cold wind outside. So in a few minutes I was cold and hurt and sick. What more could I add. I seemed to have spent a long time there, and I don't know how much longer I would have cried if I hadn't heard those familiar footsteps behind me.

Sobbing for the last time, I wiped away my tears with my hand and tried to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

"I had to make a choice," I heard Olivia's voice behind me. I didn't say anything back so she continued, "and I made it"

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