MY CARELESS MOTHER

CHAPTER NINE

Bella's POV

I laid in bed, thinking about my life like I had been doing for the past few days, I didn't know what to do with my life. Sometimes, I felt like committing suicide at least that would be better than this miserable life I'm living.

My sister was happily married with two kids and she's expecting another. In two weeks, her twins would be celebrating their three years birthday and I'm still single.

No man wanted to marry me because I couldn't have kids, my last relationship was even worse. I caught him with another woman and when I confronted him, he told me that he never had the intention of marrying me, that he'd never have an empty barrel as a wife.

I try not to blame mom, but sometimes I just can't help it. If she had given us more time and attention when we were younger, all this wouldn't be happening. A twenty five year old woman, single and living alone with no hope of getting married anytime soon. 

I felt like I wasn't complete, every time I looked at Davina's kids, I always wished they were mine. I really envied her life, her husband treats her like she's a queen, spoiling her with gifts, jewelry and so much more and I wanted that. I wanted to be happy, I want someone to love me that much, but it wasn't possible. I was still wallowing in self pity when I heard my phone ring. I looked at the screen and saw Davina, ugh!, what now?.

"Hello?" I answered, making depression obvious in my voice hoping she'd notice.

"You'll never guess what happened?"

Guess not, she sounded too happy to notice. "What?"

"Okay. Adrian just got me...a new car" she exclaimed happily. I knew I should be happy for her but I wasn't.

"That's why you called?, you didn't even stop to think for a second that I might have been sleeping?" I snapped, knowing fully that it was wrong.

"I thought you'd be happy for me?"  She asked, sounding confused.

"Why?, give me one good reason I should be happy that you got a car"

"I'm your sister" I knew I hurt her feelings with what I said but I was too angry to care.

"So?!, the fact that you're my sister doesn't give you the right to bother me about what's happening in your family!"

"I'm sorry I just thought that--"

"No!, you didn't think, cause if you did you would've known that calling me every time to tell me something that happened to you, your husband or your kids isn't right!. I yelled at her and heard her gasp a little and I knew she was crying but it didn't stop me.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't care!!." I hung up and threw the phone on the bed, hating myself for what I did. I mean it wasn't her fault I can't have kids, I was just so angry that her life was much better than mine. I mean, would it be so terrible for her to notice how much I'm hurting?.

She called at least twenty times but I ignored it because I know that if I had answered, I would've said something much worse. I needed someone to talk to desperately so I turned to my therapist, Amber.

Amber was a doctor, I met her two years ago when I first experienced a heartbreak. She helped me handle my depression at that time and even got me the job I have now. Whenever I was depressed, I always turned to her and she'd help me through tough times.

When I got to her office, I told her what I was going through and what I did to Davina. When I was done, I was expecting her to give me one of her amazing advice but instead, she crossed her hands over her chest and said "Bella, that was terrible"

"What?"

"Yes. What you did was terrible, you shouldn't have snapped at your sister like that."

"I didn't mean to, its just that..her life is so much better than mine and it's not fair."

"So you're jealous of your kid sister?"

"Well, if you put it that way, it makes me feel like I'm a bad person."

"Tell me something, does she help you with anything?"

"Yes"

"Is she arrogant?"

"No"

"Then what's the problem?"

"I wanna have her life"

"Do you realize how childish you sound?, you want your sister's life"

She was right, I did sound ridiculous but it wasn't my fault. Neither was it my sister's fault, I shouldn't have been so rude to her. I needed to make things right "Amber, I need to go"

"Why, where are you going?"

"I need to make things right with Davina."

When I got to their house, I knocked a few times before Percy opened the door. He was always the friendly one "Aunty Bella" he called out and ran to hug me.

"Percy, how're you darling?" I picked him up and walked inside where I saw Adrian frowning at me.

"Percy, why don't you go upstairs and play with harry and mommy?, your aunty and I need to talk."

I put the little guy down and watched him run upstairs. "So, how's it going?" I said laughing awkwardly.

"How's it going?, Davina's up there crying her eyes out because her sister crushed her heart" I'm pretty sure that was the first time I'd be seeing Adrian angry.

"I know. I acted like a jerk, but I want to make things right. I came here to apologize."

"Davina is four months pregnant, she's not supposed to be thinking this much."

"I know"

"No, you don't. She has been worried about you for weeks, doing everything she could to make you feel better but you don't appreciate it."

He was right, she was trying to make me feel better. Two weeks ago, she wanted us to go out and have fun as sisters but I said no. Last week, she invited me to join her at the spa but I also said no. Even two days ago, she invited me to have dinner with her family, I declined cause I didn't like seeing her family so happy. Wow, I was a terrible sister but I'm gonna make things right.

"Look, Adrian, I know I've been a terrible sister but I promise you, I'm gonna be better from now on."

"You promise?"

I heard her voice from the top of the stairs "I promise."

"Good, I love you Bella"

"I love you too Davina. Now what do you say we got out and have some fun?"

"I say, gimme a minute to get dressed." She ran to her room looking excited like a kid going for a ride at the park.

When we were leaving, Adrian reminded her that she was pregnant and that she was prohibited from doing strenuous things. Then he mentioned a lot of things she wasn't allowed to do like drinking, running, dancing too hard, even listening to loud music was prohibited. She laughed and kissed him before saying "yes yes Mr Raines. I won't do any of that" then he kissed her and it made me smile. Damn they really looked cute together. Would I ever find someone like that, maybe not, but seeing her happy made me happy.

We left and went to do those things she wanted us to do. We went to the spa, got massages and even went shopping. I had so much fun that I forgot I was ever feeling depressed.