Finding Heather

Year 4 Chapter 12

Author's notes: This chapter will jump past Harry being caught out of bed by Moody and Snape, but for story purposes, the events following Harry's trip that night still took place and Moody borrowed the map.

Also, at a certain point Harry will begin referring to himself with a female name. I'll still be using he/him pronouns for him at this point. Also from here on out, when he is in girl mode, he will be referred to by his girl name and vice versa when not in girl mode he'll be referred to as Harry.

Harry Potter and everything magical in his world belongs to JK Rowling, not me.

Chapter Twelve

Despite having weeks of time in which to prepare, nothing Harry, Hermione, or Ron could find in any book gave any hint as to survive underwater for an hour. It also didn't help that on the first day back from break, Hagrid had been replaced by a temporary teacher, Professor Grubbly-Plank. Draco Malfoy was thrilled and it didn't take long for the reason to become apparent. Somehow, Rita Skeeter had gotten wind of Hagrid's conversation in the Rose Garden the night of the Yule Ball. There in black and white print was his almost word for word admission of who his mother had been, apparently a well known and particularly violent giantess. Rather than deal with the Blast-Ended Skrewts, for which everyone was somewhat relieved, their next few lessons were on Unicorns. Like most of the boys, Harry had to stand back while the girls got close to a unicorn foal, but he did think it was beautiful.Lessons continued like that for a few weeks. Harry was angry at Hagrid's secret being outed like that and desperately wanted him to come back, but deep down was enjoying not fearing for his health every time they left the castle for Care of Magical Creatures. Hermione had started spending her time, in between homework and helping Harry look up ways to not drown, researching ways of magical eavesdropping. She was determined to discover just how Rita Skeeter was able to hear conversations she wasn't present for. Even after having know her for years, it still astounded Harry at the amount of reading she could get done. Rita's ability did worry him to some degree. He could only imagine how he'd feel if a picture of him as a girl showed up on the cover of the Daily Prophet.Thankfully Halfway through January a distraction from their lessons was announced, an upcoming Hogsmeade trip. Harry debated not going, and trying to either continue researching for the next task or dressing up, but Hermione talked him into it. Ron wouldn't be joining them, he had asked Padma Patil to go with him, giving Harry an excuse to spend time in the village with Hermione and Ginny. It ended up almost being a repeat of their shopping adventure on Diagon Alley. Much of the village's businesses being catered towards students, there were several shops dedicated to girl's clothing that Harry had never paid attention to before. The two girls practically dragged Harry inside each one of them. They were all crammed with girls using their Christmas money to enhance their wardrobes, In particular those who had entered into relationships after the Yule Ball.Hermione and Ginny were soon picking out outfit after outfit, asking each other if "she" would like it. This drove home to Harry that he really needed to sit down and figure out a name for 'her.' As a thank you for everything they had done for him all year, Harry insisted on buying not only the clothes they had picked out for him, but their purchases as well. With shopping bags in hand, and Harry's bag of gold considerably lighter, they set off for the Three Broomsticks, hoping to find Hagrid and finally be able to talk to him.It only took a brief look around the crowded pub to see that Hagrid's large bulk was nowhere in sight. Grabbing three butterbeers, Harry was intercepted halfway to table the girls had secured by Ludo Bagman. He liked Ludo, but wasn't comfortable with how he kept trying to offer advice or helpful hints on the tournament. It felt very fake and forced. Thankfully Harry was able to truthfully tell him he'd worked out the egg clue, and didn't need any of his help. The three of them sat enjoying their drinks, chatting idly about what they'd just bought. Ginny started speculating on how Ron's date was going with Padma, and Harry caught himself giggling along with them. Unfortunately, the happiness of the afternoon evaporated when the door opened and Rita Skeeter walked in, her photographer in tow. Spying Harry sitting there, Skeeter made a beeline for him."Hello, Harry" she said, a very repulsive smile on her face, "fancy a quick chat?""No." Harry said flatly, "I'm not planning on letting you ruin my life like you did Hagrid.""Ooh, tell me more" she said, reaching for her handbag. "Want to tell me your side of it? How nice and gentle Hagrid really is? Is he almost like a father to you?""You horrible woman" said Hermione, the color rising in her face. "How dare you-"But Rita cut her off, "be quiet you stupid girl. I know more about it than you do. I could tell you things about people that would make your head spin.""Let's go" said Ginny, cutting of Hermione's response. Harry saw the sense in that and they quickly left, not without sending one more nasty look at Rita. With a sense of dread Harry saw her smiling maliciously at them, her quick quotes quill flying across the parchment."That can't be good" Harry said to himself. Hermione was in a towering temper, and instead of walking back up to the school, she marched across the grounds right for Hagrid's cabin. When she reached it, followed by Ginny and Harry who were breathing hard to catch up, she pounded on the door, screaming about how vile Rita Skeeter was and that no one cared about what he was, until it was opened. Albus Dumbledore stood there, and after a brief explanation, ushered them inside.Hagrid was sitting at his table, a mug of tea in front of him, and an empty bottle of something called "Old Ogden's" sitting next to it."Lo" he groaned, looking up at them."Did you catch everything Ms. Granger was shouting at you through your door, Hagrid?" asked Dumbledore as he conjured more tea for the three of them."a bit, yeah," said Hagrid."Well, its true." Added Hermione. Her head of steam had halted somewhat in Dumbledore's presence, but now came back in full force, "we miss you Hagrid. We care about you. It doesn't matter what she wrote, it doesn't change how we feel about you.""Yeah, just look at what that cow" Harry quickly looked at Dumbledore at this, but he was busy inspecting his fingernails, "wrote about me. I let it affect me too for a while, but then I realized that it didn't matter. It didn't change who I was. I'm different from most boys, but that doesn't mean I can just hide in my dormitory.""Precisely," broke in Dumbledore, "you are who you are, just as everyone is. I can't even begin to tell you the letters I've received from parents saying that if I sacked you, there would be things said."Once he was done speaking, Harry added, "and who cares what any of the naysayers say. They don't matter. You can't please everyone. You've got to be you, Hagrid.""I know" Hagrid said finally, "you're right. I was being stupid. Alright Professor, I'll be back Monday morning." A few tears were falling down his face as he looked at Harry."Excellent." Said Dumbledore, and excused himself. Once the door closed behind him, Hagrid picked up the empty bottle and threw it into a waste can that was by the back door. "Where's Ron?" he asked coming back to the table."On a date," said Ginny."Oh really?" he asked, looking interested. So, Harry filled him in on Ron and Padma's potential new relationship."So that left you schlepping for the girls today, huh Harry." Hagrid asked, smiling down at him."Yeah, but that's ok." Harry said, not sure where this was going."That's alright. I've noticed you hanging out more with these two this year." Hagrid said, gesturing at the two girls."Oh?" Said Harry, not sure what else to say."Yup. Had a boy in my year who was like that. Turned out to not like 'em in the same way that other boys did. A lot o' the boys made fun of 'im for it. Used to spend a lot of time with him myself, what with us being the odd ones out in our year. I told 'im, 'you gotta be you to be happy, don't let no one tell you what you can't be.' Guess I should take some of me own advice." Hagrid finished, shaking his head with a sad sort of smile."I'd say so," said Hermione."I'm just saying, Harry, you be who you are. Jus' like you were just telling me. You said you're different than most boys, and maybe you are, but that's not a bad thing." Hagrid said, crinkling his eyes at Harry.Filling with a warm glow with what Hagrid was saying, and what he wasn't saying, Harry sat with the three of them at Hagrid's table for a few hours, talking about the upcoming task and Harry's chances for winning the tournament. Harry felt extremely comfortable here, in a similar way to how he felt being a girl with Hermione and Ginny. He didn't have to pretend to be someone else here, just be himself. Several times he made comments that he wouldn't have made with other people around, such as when they were discussing the Yule Ball and who was dancing with who.When it was time to head back up to the school for dinner, Hagrid pulled the three of them into a hug, thanking them for coming by today. Together they all walked up the sloping lawns towards the front doors. Upon reaching the Great Hall, Ginny broke off to go see a friend of hers in Ravenclaw. Harry and Hermione saw that Ron was already seated at the Gryffindor Table having already started on dinner, and made their way over to him. Ron was eating heartily, his plate loaded with chicken, pork, mashed potatoes, and even a vegetable or two. "How'd your date go?" asked Harry, sitting down next to him."Pretty well," said Ron. He then proceeded to tell them about their trip to the Three Broomsticks, and then to Honeydukes. It hardly sounded like Ron at all. Harry was again amazed to hear him talk about a girl in such a way."She's fantastic. I dunno why I'd never noticed her before." He said."So, are you two dating?' asked Hermione idly."Nah, but we're friends. She says she's just not ready for that yet. I wasn't all that happy at first but she made me realize that just because she didn't want to date doesn't mean we can't be friends. She promised to help me with my transfiguration homework tomorrow night." Ron said.Enjoyably surprised at this turn in Ron's mood, Harry and Hermione filled him in on most of what they'd done in Hogsmeade. At the mention of shopping, Harry waited for an expression of suspicion to cross Ron's face, but he seemed to accept it without comment, for which Harry was relieved. He'd been worried that Ron's resolve to not judge Harry's oddities would wear off, but so far it didn't seem to. Perhaps that had to do with Padma, Harry didn't know, but it did take a bit of a load off his shoulders. He still wasn't ready to tell Ron about his girl side, but at least he felt like Ron wasn't judging him anymore.In the following weeks, Harry let his homework lapse somewhat trying desperately to find a way to breathe underwater. He read book after book of charms and spells, even looking at advanced transfiguration textbooks, thinking maybe he'd try turning himself into a fish or something. Hermione talked him out of it saying that self-transfiguration was dangerous. Every day that passed increased his panic level as February 24th drew closer.