I'm with the Band

Chapter 21: Freedom... Almost

"AUTUMN," Frankie screamed back.

"FRANKIE," Leighton replied in annoyance, being crushed under Frankie's weight. 

"LEIGHTON," I realized Leighton was being suffocated under Frankie and jumped off the counter to help.

"Autu-mn," Leighton choked out as Frankie laughed with glee, accidentally suffocating Leighton in a hug. 

"Levi," Levi responded at the doorway clearly not wanting to be left out of the name game. 

Frankie finally unstuck himself from Leighton and wrapped me in a hug. "It's so good to see you again Autumn, honestly wasn't sure if you were going to come back or not." 

"Yeah, um. Sorry about that." I replied sheepishly, glancing at Leighton who was picking himself off the floor. 

"You have nothing to apologize for. It was this prick's fault." Frankie walked over to Leighton and bopped him on the head to perhaps assert his dominance? IDK guys are weird. But I smiled regardless because looking around at the three boys I realized I had never felt more at home then now, here, with them. 

Frankie was smiling too but then stopped abruptly and squinted at Leighton as if he had just come to this mind blowing conclusion. "You guys came in here together." 

"Yes Frankie how else was I supposed to get into the venue with no ticket?" 

"Why is your hair like that Leighton?" 

"What?" 

I glanced over at Leighton again and suppressed a giggle. We had both been so pre-occupied with our little reunion that we both failed to notice the state in which Leighton left the tourbus when I was done with him. It looked like the man had just walked through Tornado Valley during storm season. His hair was wild and tousled, devoid of any hair gel that would have kept it the perfect amount of structured yet carefree. Even though I had tried desperately not to smudge his makeup, there was clear finger prints in his football style war paint underneath his eyes. Leighton looked at the line of mirrors where I had originally perched myself on the counter and lightly swore under his breathe. The secret was out and it was obvious. We had sex on the tourbus. 

Frankie burst out laughing at the distress in our realization that he knew. My face burned red as Leighton tried his best to smooth down the loose strands of his hair sticking out in every direction. Levi stepped up and smacked Frankie across the head. "Leave them alone would you. You really want Autumn to run off again because of your stupidity this time?" 

I smiled at Levi and he returned it. An understanding passing between us, that we were both happy that I was here and that this time I was here to stay. And in his eyes I saw a look that I first noticed that night I spoke with Levi alone on the tourbus about Leighton. Those eyes that said take care of him. But Levi had nothing to worry about because Leighton and I had already made an unspoken agreement to take care of each other. 

"No time to waste everyone. Grab your shit and get hyped. We have a show to put on." And with that the three boys cheered and screamed KILL KLUB at the top of their lungs transforming into their stage personas, allowing the fame and attention to go to their heads for just a moment so that they could get on stage and show the world what they had worked so hard to achieve. I saw the glint in Leighton's eyes. I felt his aura, his stage power. The untouchable lead singer that would break every girl's heart in the audience tonight with a single look. He belonged on the stage, he was a performer with deserved talent. The stage was his freedom. And he was mine. 

*** 

I thought I had reached a certain peak happiness in my life the day I ended up with Leighton in his dressing room the second time we had met. I remember the feeling of being at that concert, the way that the laser lights flew over the crowded mosh pit. The way the dust particles sparkled in the stage lights, where it looked like it was raining glitter on the dance floor. The way it felt like I was flying for just a moment when my boots left the venue floor and hovered just for a second to the sound of the crashing drums. I thought I had felt freedom, but it wasn't even close to what I felt tonight. I stared up at the ceiling beams of the LA concert venue and watched the smoke from the pyro swirl in patterns through the darkness. Leighton looked up too and saw them, smiling as the smoke danced to the rhythm of the guitars down below. Leighton looked up and didn't see the traumas of his past, rather he saw the smoke bending to the will of his music and power, transforming to the sound of his voice. I sighed backstage as the sound of the drums burst through me, enlightening me from all the stress and worries that had manifested in the last week. Leighton sang his heart out on stage, straining his vocal chords to tell his story of pain, misery, abuse and deception. He sang for the both of us and the struggles that brought us together. And when he made eye contact with a female in the crowd and smiled at her, seducing her with his overflowing charm and presence, I smiled along with him. Because that smile outside of the perimeter of the stage, belonged to me.