No Choice (Eruri)

Distraction

The hectic hustle and bustle of the city reached his ears loudly as Levi sat on the carriage seat and watched through the open window the people passing by during their ride. Apparently, despite the circumstances of the last few weeks, there was some kind of festival today, which bathed the city in an almost ridiculous, motley spectacle.

In the many alleys that they passed during their journey, he could see the numerous stalls at which various merchants were noisily hawking their wares, while at every corner, many street musicians and carnies were going about their daily business and entertaining the citizens.

Apparently, the people here tended to suppress their fears with senseless celebrations because otherwise, he could not explain how exuberantly they celebrated and laughed, while behind this wall, people fought for every day of survival.

Erwin seemed just as unenthusiastic about the spectacle, for he only looked outside with a weary gaze while barely speaking a word for the last few hours. At least not inside that carriage.

Levi had stopped counting how many times they had stopped so far on this trip, so Erwin, with his typical charming manner and confident words, was able to talk to all the important people about his next business.

As much enthusiasm as Erwin seemed to have in front of these people, he had become abruptly silent each time they had returned to the carriage together. For Levi, it was almost as if he assumed a completely different identity every time he had left the carriage. A mask that he seemed to shed with an exhausted sigh the moment the doors had closed behind him again.

He looked tired, pale, and almost irritable, in contrast to his usually calm and de-escalating manner. Not like a man who had just overcome a significant hurdle and reached a crucial point in his life. But rather like someone who was just tired of everything.

Levi would be lying to himself if he said this didn't worry him. It didn't fit with what Erwin wanted to be. He didn't even bother to keep up the whole facade in front of him anymore. Erwin probably didn't think it was necessary to pretend to his own people now either. After all, he was now the man in charge, and no one from his own ranks could get in his way anymore.

Nevertheless, Levi was surprised by Erwin's visibly depressed mood, and although there were indeed other things to worry about now, he was again gripped by a guilty conscience for having made things so difficult for Erwin the day before.

But it had not been his fault alone. Erwin had offered it to him himself. He could have asked Hange to take care of it. Erwin never needed to offer him to come over either. Levi had not asked him to let him have his bedroom, nor had he asked him to stay with him all night. Erwin had decided this all by himself. He knew better. After all, he was now even the commander of an entire regiment.

And yet Levi couldn't shake the feeling that Erwin had just reached a point that surprised himself. Overwhelmed would be the wrong word for what he was probably going through. But it was undoubtedly a challenge for him to now face all these bigwigs alone and have no one to take him by the hand with his ideas. Now he was the one who had to offer that support to others, and indeed, that feeling was overwhelming at first.

"Do you have another appointment?" he asked cautiously after Erwin had not spoken a single word for the last few minutes and by now had not even said where the trip was going.

Erwin shook his head, not even looking up. "That's enough for today."

"You look tired," Levi said, trying again to start a conversation.

Usually, it was Erwin who always broke the silence, but this time the roles were reversed. He was probably just exhausted, but that hadn't been anything to silence him so far. The only time Levi had ever seen him like this was when they had returned to quarters shortly after the attack on him. Was the injury to his shoulder still bothering him, perhaps? Had he had Hange tend to the wound again after Levi's amateurish work? Was he perhaps even in pain?