Fighting Desires

73

Harriet POV

I wipe away the tears on my cheek quickly before holding onto Lilian's uninjured hand.

"I got a prom outfit. I don't really want to go, but I know you'd kill me if you found out I did" I chuckle quietly.

"All your medical bills are paid. Jolene paid. I refused at first, but she insisted" I inform a sleeping Lilian.

I've heard stories about how sometimes when people are in comas they can still hear. And if that is true, then I want to keep Lilian updated.

"I promise I'll study for the exams and go to classes despite...this" I mumble. My eyes water with tears again, but I don't bother drying them, knowing it is pointless.

"I have to leave for my train now..." I whisper as a lump forms in my throat.

"I won't be able to see you much, but on the weekends I'll visit. Don't worry, schools over in four weeks. Then I'll be here every day" I whisper with a smile, trying to stay positive.

"Please wake up for graduation" I mumble as a tear drops from my cheek onto my hand.

"I love you," I tell her quietly as I kiss her head.

I wipe my tears away, before letting go of her hand and grabbing my bag. I walk out of the hospital room and fight my thoughts that are begging me to stay with her.

*****

It was half eight in the evening, and I was walking down the hall towards my dorm.

I was exhausted, having only gotten a few hours of sleep in the last few days. My appetite is gone, I can't sleep. I can't do anything but worry and blame myself.

As I go to put my key in the door, I freeze when I hear familiar voices.

I internally groan, and then I feel guilty for not wanting to see them before I finally open the door.

Arms are immediately thrown around me, and I stumble back but hug back nonetheless.

"I thought you were dead. You never come back this late" Quinn mumbles as she pulls away and I shoot her a small smile.

"Don't you ever check your phone?" Quinn scowls, and I take out my phone from my pocket to see four miss calls from Quinn and multiple texts.

"Sorry. Phone was on silent" I tell her and she rolls her eyes playfully while I close the door.

I look around and see Clayton and the twins sitting on his bed, with books everywhere. While on my bed, there was Quinn's laptop as well as her books.

"We're having a study party" Elijah explains and I nod. "It's not a party. It's hell" Ezra mutters as he rubs his temples.

I take off my shoes before walking with Quinn over to my bed and placing my bag down. I sit down on the bed beside Quinn and notice she's staring at me.

"What?" I ask her.

"Are you okay?" She asks, and I chuckle.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I ask, and she looks at me hesitantly.

"Harriet, I love you. But you look like shit. Are you sick?" Quin mumbles as she pressed her hand against my forehead.

I knew what she was referring to. I've seen how I look.

Pale.
Tired.
Dead.

"I'm fine. Haven't been sleeping because I'm stressed over exams"I lie, and she looks at me before sighing.

"You're going to be fine Harriet" Quinn reassures me, and I smile.

"Thanks," I tell her, and she nods before placing her laptop on her lap.

I feel eyes on me, and I look over to see Clayton staring at me. I tear my eyes away from his gaze before I get too lost in them, and focus on what the rest of them are saying.

Claytons POV

Somethings wrong.

I know by her. Something happened.

Fuck I want to hug her. I want to be there for her and ask what happened. Stupid fucking break-up ruining everything.

Harriet's face was much paler than normal, and her eyes had dark bags underneath them.

Has she been eating properly?

"Are you okay?" Quinn asks Harriet, and we all look over at her, although she doesn't seem to notice.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Harriet asks.

Answering a question with a question. The best way to avoid answering something.

"Harriet, I love you. But you look shit. Are you sick?" Quinn questions as she raises her hand and places it against Harriet's forehead to check her temperature.

"I'm fine. Haven't been sleeping because I'm stressed over the exams" Harriet answers.

Lie.

Quinn sighs before smiling at Harriet. "You're going to be fine, Harriet" Quinn reassures her, and she smiles.

"Thanks," Harriet says before Quinn turns back to her laptop.

Harriet then must have sensed my stares, because she turned to me.

I look into her eyes and see a mixture of guilt and sadness behind them. What the fuck happened to her?

She looks away, and I feel my grip tighten on the pencil I was holding.

The others were discussing math formulas, while I was staring at Harriet while she tried pretending she didn't notice.

Is she acting like this because of the kiss?

Fuck I can't bare her avoiding me again.

"Clayton!" Ezra yells as he hits my head.

"What?" I scowl while I kick him with my leg. "We asked will we move onto science?" Elijah says, and I sigh.

"Yeah, sure" I mumble, and I feel a certain pair of eyes on me. I look up and see Harriet quickly look away and I can't help but smile a bit.

Same old Harriet.

I study her, and the more I look, the more the feeling in my gut telling me something bad happened grows.

And right then and there, I decided I was done with this break-up bullshit.

She's upset- something is bothering her.

I'm going to fix it.

Im going to get her back and fix it.

No matter what.