Jaiden Parker struggles when it comes to love.
She isn't perfect. But then again, no one is.
Coming from a family like hers, love is neglected and perfection is expected.
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Reggie Peters has been neglected his enti...
I strum my guitar as I lay sprawled on my bed. As a hum a tune, I get up and pick up my songbook. Writing down a lyrics, I begin to strum. I stop abruptly and wince. My wrists are sore. Fighting through the pain, I sing
I fight threw the pain
and I tell you that I'm okay
The blade calls for me
and i use it impulsively
Crying on the bathroom floor
I can't take this anymore
It's not your fault, it's mine
I hope you can forgive me in time
Oh suicide, why does it sound so nice
Oh suicide, I could end it all tonight
I'm drowning in a sea of shameful tears
Slowly killing myself, been doing it for years
Maybe I should just go
this world has nothing to live for
cause suicide is not the forgiving type
Everything my scars heal, I open them again
I don't deserve recovery, all I deserve is pain
Lock me up and melt the key
Just please, forgive me
There's nothing you could have done
I'll never be that girl I once was
Oh suicide, why does it sound so nice?
Oh suicide, I could end it all tonight?
I'm drowning in a sea of shameful tears
Slowly killing myself, been doing it for years
Maybe I should just go
This world has nothing to live for
And sometimes I scare myself,
but each time, I back out
Three times was one too may
Never said anything to anybody
I'm a hopeless case
but I choose to live life this way
Oh suicide. It sounds so nice
Oh suicide. Should take me tonight
The guilt is too much to take
I need help before it's too late
This was all may fault
My choice, my result
but nothing I say
will make the pain go away
cause suicide is not the forgiving type.
I did it. My first full song I've written in over a year, and it had to be about that. I couldn't take it anymore.
I tore out the pages I had written in my book. I practically run down the hall. I find a notepad and pencil. My hand flies as I write. I'm not even sure if it makes sense, but I don't care. When I'm finished, I place my note and song pages on the counter, along with my favorite guitar pick. It was black with my initials engraved with a white tint. I stared at the scene for a while, unsure if I wanted to go through with my decision.
I shake my head and run towards the bathroom. I push the door open and pull the mirror cabinet door. Impulsively, I grab my mom's pills and open the bottle. All I have to do is take five pills. Five pills, then it's over. With the pills in had, I look up and come face to face with my reflection. With one final glance, I fill a Dixie cup with water.
"I'm sorry, Bea." I shakily whisper. I forcefully shove the pills in my mouth and down the cup of water. I don't feel anything for a few mintues, until my vision blurs. Everything starts to spin and i collapse on the ground. I feel the need to vomit, but I can't open my mouth. My head is pounding as I try to stable myself by grabbing the toilet. I hear a faint voice call my name. One final breath,, and everything goes black. I'm finally free.
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a/n
wow two updates in a row. there's a third one on the way. this was short, im sorry, but now the ball is rolling. this chapter was all too familiar for me. i'm always here if you need to talk, and so are they:
