So This Is Love ~~~~ R.P.

v. Alone

TW: Mentions of suicide, self harm, and suicidal thoughts....

I've felt alone for a while. But never like this. I've got no one to talk to. No one to sing with. No one. 

Today is supposed to be a celebration. A day of fesitivies. Family. Today was my seventeenth birthday. But all I could think about was Reggie. I couldn't celebrate this day without them here. Besides, It wasn't like there was going to be much of a celebration anyway. My mother's out of town and Bea's at school. But Beatrice promised she'd come home with a cake for me. 

Sitting on the bathroom tile, my face is expressionless. Moisture quickly melts down my wrists. I'm numb to the point where the pain is practically nonexistant.

"Jaiden?" Beatrice's voice rings through the front doorway.

Hurridedly, I grab toilet paper and wrap it around my wrist. 

"Jaiden?" Beatrice kncoed on the bathroom door.

"Almost done!" I turn on the faucet and clean my face, wiping off mascara.  As I continue to wrap toilet paper on my wrist, I grab  towel and clean up the sink. Turning off the faucet, and throw on Luke's hoodie and open the door. Beatrice stand there, an eyebrow raised. 

"Are you okay?" Bea questioned.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine. Why would you ask?" I respond nervously. 

"Well... you're wearing his sweatshirt and you were obviously just crying in the bathroom for who knows how long. Are you sure you're okay? I'm always here, you know." Beatrice says, giving a reassuring smile. 

"Yeah, I just miss them. That's all." The guilt in my eyes could blow my cover, but Beatrice didn't notice. 

"Okay," Bea says turning around, "Cake Time!" she quips as she skips down the hall.

I feel myself giggle, part of an emotion I haven't felt in a while. My arm hurts, but ignoring the pain, I follow Bea into the kitchen. 

As I approach the counter,  I see a light blue frosted cake with the words, "Happy Birthday Jay!" in red icing. Four candles line the top border o the cake, along with small roses. 

"Do you like it?" Bea asked with a tight-lipped smile. 

"Yeah. It's great. Thank you Beatrice." I say, pulling her in for a hug. 

"Why is your arm kinda wet?" Beatrice asks as she removes my arm from her shoulder.

"Oh-h...uhh I must have spilt water on it. It's nothing." I quickly brush off as I sit behind the counter. 

"okay." Bea laughs awkwardly as she grabs the matchbox. One by one, she lights the candles. When she's finished, she looks at me. "You know you'll have to sing with me, I'm absolutely awful at singing."

I chuckle and sing along with her.

"Make a wish."

I close my eyes and make my wish. I wish I could see the boys again, just one last time. Opening my eyes, I take a deep breath and blow out the candles in one breath.

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a/n

hello! I know updates are slow but i have major writer's block. sorry if this was short, but the next ones will be longer...maybe... good news tho, i'm on spring break so i could write this whole week. thank you guys so much for 40 reads! even if thats doesn't seem like a lot, it is to me. i didn't even think people would care about this. UPDATE--- i changed Jaiden's age. My dumbass made her seventeen from the beginning instead of sixteen, so i changed it. from the chapters before this one, she was sixteen. now from this chapter and forward, she will be seventeen. if that makes sense. sorry for the confusion, i didn't think it through lol. ik it's annoying when authors ask you to vote and comment, but plz comment. i want to know your opinion. do you hate it? do you like it? do you want me to change things? do you have any ideas? 

See ya on the flip side

~ S ♡