Flynn - a kissing booth fan fiction

Secrets

***
When I kiss her again, I move closer, her hand finding my hair as mine finds her waist. It's an automatic thing when my fingers trail up over her shirt, fingertips finding skin where it's half-unbuttoned already. She startles and I pull back, feeling like a jerk. I definitely hadn't been trying to push her, especially not here, now, tonight. I have to say something.

"Um...You know, we don't have to."

And I don't just mean sex, I mean anything. I don't want Elle to ever be in a situation where she does something she doesn't want to, and I definitely don't want to be the asshole putting her in that situation. I search Elle's face, trying to see if she understands. She's looking back at me softly, and reaches her hand out to touch the side of my face.

Dragging her thumb down over my lips, her fingers reach my chest and she leans her forehead against mine. Both her hands are now at my buttons and she's pulling at my shirt. Everywhere her fingers touch my skin is like fire, and I help her get my arms out of the sleeves. Elle's hands roving over my chest and shoulders does me in, and now all I want is to feel her skin against mine.

Her shirt goes quickly too and she pulls me down on top of her, in what soon becomes pretty heated making out. I figure that's where things will end, but then Elle starts escalating. She pushes me away far enough to wriggle out of her shorts, and I don't stop her because she's still wearing her bikini. After some more excellent making out, I roll us onto our sides so it's a little less obvious how much I'm actually enjoying this.

But Elle takes this as an invitation and moves her hand between us, her fingers trying to wriggle beneath the waistband of my shorts. I move my hand over hers, stopping her, and break our kiss.

"Elle?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't need to do that."

"I know, but-"

"But nothing, Elle." I bring her hand up to my face and kiss her palm.

She pulls her hand away, not looking me in the eye. "Do you...not want me to?"

"Hey," I lift up her chin so she has to look at me. "That's definitely not it, okay?"

"Then why did you stop me?" her voice is small, embarrassed.

"Because I need you to know that's not the reason I want to be with you, Elle. I'm not in this, for that, okay?"

"Okay, I get it. I wasn't thinking that you were."

"Good." I kiss her again, and we return to making out, her hands safely in my hair, which is just fine with me. I move one of my hands down her back, tracing my fingers across her mostly bare skin to rest on her hip. Elle's words come out all breathy. "No...don't...stop."

I freeze and pull back to look at her.

"What?" she asks, her voice more forceful now.

"You told me to stop," I say, confused.

"No! I told you not to stop," Elle laughs, which makes me grin.

"Uh, Shelly, you're gonna have to be a lot more clear. Because for the record, when you say the words 'no', 'don't' and/or 'stop', I'm going to stop. None of those words imply consent, you know? Quite the opposite, actually," I chuckle.

"Oh my god! You're so frustrating! Since when are you so...good?"

"Since always. I've never pushed a girl into doing anything, Elle, and I won't push you into doing something you don't want to do."

"Ugh! I know that! But that's just it, I do want to!"

"What do you want, exactly?"

"Oh god!" Elle buries her face in my neck. "You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"